The Male Conspiracy

I'm officially done. Beware my fellow Y chromosomes. Next time you show your pig-stripes around me because no women are present, I'm not just going to give the obligatory chuckle. I'm done playing in what I call the 'male conspiracy.' What is the male conspiracy? Simply put its the behavior pattern exhibited by men in which they speak and act in one manner in front of women and in a different sometimes entirely self contradictory manner when the fairer sex is not about. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame men entirely for this. One of the reason we lie so often is because it works, and I don't expect my honesty to get me very far with the ladies. In fact I would be surprised if I don't get laid even less than I already do as a result.

That's not what this is about, however. Its about the difference between being a knight and a player. A knight respects women because he respects women; a player respects women so he can get into their pants. Seems an obvious difference but it can be surprisingly subtle especially when it is so often the case that players buy into their very own bullshit half the time. With the best of them, I'm shocked when they totally switch gears in mono-sex settings and start talking about who they would or wouldn't 'fuck'. The reason, in many cases, they fool me and women more observant than I am, is because they themselves are unconscious of the behavior switch. You can't be caught lying if you don't realize you're lying.

An almost insurmountable obstacle on any quest for masculine virtue is the amount of bullshit men are fed through radio, t.v., internet and elsewhere in regards to their own nature. Only the stream headed in the direction of the opposite sex exceeds it. Everywhere I look or listen I hear men being portrayed as irredeemable slobs. There's almost a tacit agreement in our culture that men are by nature sinners. Exceptions in media are usually homosexuals, dorks to be discounted or castrated males who are all empathy and no dick. Stupid men with lazy unrefined intellects are slobs, men as a gender are not. Point of fact, each man on earth has the potential to be a being of great conscience and courage, a knight, and most of us still have an inner child whose clamoring for this destiny. So what happened? Sex, of course.

Well, not just sex. Getting laid is not an impossibility for anyone, no one proves this more than myself, but men don't just want to get laid. From the very moment puberty sets upon us, we are imprinted on what is attractive. Now if you shatter this mold, you may find some wacky attractions you never thought you had (I myself have a thing for women with over-sized hands and feet, who knew?), but excepting this, most men have a remarkably standardized image of female beauty in their minds. Since only some women will ever be able to live up to this image in the flesh, so to speak, male competition becomes intensified to nuclear levels around these so called 'hotties.' The very men who claim in front of their female peers to see women as human beings with minds and souls, show through their endless pursuit of the same physical type, that they see them primarily as bodies. Now, am I saying we should forget entirely about what is or what is not attractive. Not at all, in fact I can say from experience that dating someone just because you respect her intellect is the quickest route to very boring sex. Rather, what I am saying is that we should seek attractions that are multi level (body, mind, even soul if you get lucky) rather than just body. But to make this work, we all, and I'm speaking to you guys out there, have got to lower the bar a bit.

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The necessity to bag the hotty is one of the main reasons the male conspiracy stays alive. To get that T+A men will lie, some will do almost anything. To an extent I can sympathize with the imperative. There is historical pressure to maintain the communication divide between the genders enforced for one by the fact that the ears of women are frankly unaccustomed to hearing men speak honestly. Since most of what a woman hears from prospective suitors is entirely glossed for her benefit, many would and do easily confuse an honest man with an uncouth barbarian. Modern times has helped this situation; for more women these days have male friends putting them at least part way behind the veil of the male conspiracy. Movies and media might help if they didn't continue to enforce current behavior patterns by neglecting to display in most cases a non anachronistic example. Or in simpler terms, men aren't shown being knights unless the movie is about King Arthur. Yet the exception exists. I know because I live it and others do, only more so. In my life I've known two men both dedicated martial artists, both true knights who never in all the years I knew them strayed from their codes of honor. And yet when I knew them, in their early 20's both were still virgins. Hence the reason most men fail in our modern age to adopt any code of conduct beyond the law of the state and the pretenses required of their religion. The penalty for treating woman as if they were soulful creatures rather than fleshy cut outs is a price paid in orgasms, to high for most of us males with our over revved libidos to bear.

This brings me to my next point. It helps to think like a virgin if one wants to chivalrous. That was part of my friends, mentioned above, advantage. They could not have been entirely aware of what they were missing, so their motivation for lying was weakened. Abstinence worked for them and it certainly is proscribed by many of the honor traditions of antiquity. Thankfully for those of us less ascetically minded there are other routes. My personal solution, go's in the exact opposite direction as abstinence. Rather than avoiding sexuality, dive right in, only go deeper, way deeper than you're told. Once you clear away the implanted bull shit, I assure you you'll find your own eclectic taste. More importantly any likes or dislikes you discover are petty in influence compared to the all-hypnotic image of skinny symmetry they replace. I for example, would definitely like to be with a girl that has 'goofy' proportions, but it would be silly for me to choose a lover, who is nothing less than your closest confidant, for such an arbitrary reason as shoe size So ironically if one wants to be a knight, break the male conspiracy and have one face presented to the world regardless of genitalia, it helps to, 'get your freak on.'

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One question I always wonder is how it still even works. Surely all woman are aware it is common for a man to speak sweetly while in her presence change personalities later. And yet so few of the men who do this habitually are unpopular with women. On the contrary, some of the shallowest men I have known have been popular with the biggest feminists I have known. One reason for success is that which I already mentioned, they believe their own bullshit. The media, and men themselves, often portray males as inept liars and conscious manipulators. This certainly puts women off guard because it not only promotes underestimation, but it implies that sincerity is the best judge. Not even a lie detector however can pick up someone who's fooled themselves. The other reason is the ubiquitousness of the conspiracy and nearly every man's tacit acceptance of it.

If you think there's no conspiracy then tell me (if you're male) when you've ever broken it? I know I haven't unless you let this writing count and I'm not inclined to, for when I say break it I mean a radical departure not just 1's and 0's. More than what I have done for the last fifteen years which is give courtesy laughs on the outside while fuming on the inside. What I mean when I say 'break' is actively reject the behavior. Let your disapproval be known and tell women the truth if they ask. Just silent protest as I have done isn't good enough because it allows the conspiracy to continue. However, if one stands up, some of the slobs might see your example, remember what it means to be a man and not just a dick and join you. As honor rises and the conspiracy falls, women will see the difference and maybe they'll realize what it means to be a woman, respected and not just indulged.

But its not enough for just men to abandon the conspiracy, woman must abandon that which fosters it, namely their insistence on a dramatic existence. Honesty is only rarely dramatic and it rarely dresses well. This is where the medieval knights went wrong. A true knight does not play a woman, he does not court her in any manner save his own, for to do otherwise is to violate a woman's right of choice (after all how can she make a choice when options don't reflect realities). The path to this sort of openness lies both through healthy masculine pride and an acknowledgment in women that men are in fact human and fallible. No longer can women afford to balk at the petty vulgarities of male conversation. Men will be men, that is a given. If women punish men for being men then what they will receive is not a change in nature but a simple split, where what they don't wish to see is broadcast outward and often intensified. This may not pose a problem for the wife or girlfriend (at least not for the moment), but what about the world which receives that broadcast.

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In a patriarchal society one must wonder what the role of the conspiracy is exactly? Surely such a massive cover up serves some wider purpose apart from getting its individual constituents laid. It certainly limits the influence of women, even in a democratic and so called 'free' society as this. No matter how structured our governments become, we can't avoid the fact that at some level there will be people making decisions and that those decisions can not be bound by the artifice of law to happen in some given forum or another. People have, do, and will come to their decisions on their own time, outside of official forums, and if this means cigar smoke filled rooms I somehow doubt female members have equal influence, barring political majority.

A more important and more ancient pattern than this is the role that conspiracy has played in hiding general societal truths from women. This is analogous to the ubiquitous phenomenon that among soldiers there are some war stories they don't tell their wives. I doubt this has changed much overtime, only the degree of what's behind the veil. Though the early Celts may have been more open with their wives regarding the details of warfare than a Victorian gentlemen soldier, even they probably kept some pillages to themselves.

The assumption underlying keeping grizzly truths from a women, is that they are somehow too weak or too fair to hear it. Pressure also comes from the other side of the gender line where women actively avoid such talk. Even women who consider themselves feminists enforce this wall, consciously or unconsciously, therefore the assumptions that make its bulwark. Its as if beneath all the rational talk of equality we still consider a woman's ears as some precious stone easily smudged or sullied; which, brings me to the prime difference between the honor system I'm propounding and the ancient ones. While their's worked under an imperative to protect women, mine works to uplift them, not to foster innocence but strength. Innocence is a mind set after all, actively fostered only by simultaneously fostering ignorance.

How much does the innocence of women and its parallel ignorance have to do with promoting a world that in its unclothed appearance would blanch most women to the core. The withdrawal of one gender from the world can only lead to an imbalance. Culture puts forward the vote and so called 'equal' rights and these are good things, but they're arrows that strike next to and not upon the heart of the issue. Like most everything culture gives us they are not solutions but programs to distract from the actual problem. The feminism that fostered these 'advancements' informs us tacitly through its vaunting of the recent progress that it does not think women could have changed the fate of the world before modern times. I believe, however, that the only significant change women can write upon the world is that which they could have wrought all along.

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Destroy the male conspiracy. Bring down the iron curtain that separates the genders. Let female perspective flood into the shut off masculine world and vice versa. Stop protecting women to make them innocent and start exposing women to make them strong. This is chivalry for the 21st century where respect for women does not bring her up to a pedestal but down to earth.