The Hell Kitten of Cincinnati

I am the Hell Kitten of Cincinnati. Birds tremble in my presence, rodents flee in terror. My human slaves bring me offerings of food and milk. The world is my ball of yarn and I intend to bat it around.

How I came into being is not an unusual story. My mother, The Dark Mistress (or Abbey, as she allows our slaves to call her), gave me life about ten weeks ago. Since that day she has trained me in the evil arts. Even our slaves have provided implements to sharpen my skills.

One such infernal device was a clear orb, containing a small bell. When knocked around, the bell sounded. It is only logical to believe that a small creature resides within the bell, or how else would it ring. When the unworthy inhabitant has had enough of my attacks, he rings the bell to show surrender. This pleases me to no end. I shall allow my humans to live for another day.

Another such device was a furry little creature which they have hung from a string attached to a pole. Our slaves dangle the pathetic life form in front of me, no doubt putting the fear of death in it, only to pull it away at the last second when I pounce. They are indeed cruel. My mother made a wise decision for her slaves.

As I sat there and recounted my life, one of my slaves approached with another apparently new slave. I shall have the pleasure of breaking her myself, I thought.

“Awww, is that your kitten? It is so cute!” said the new slave.

“Yes he is. I bought him a little sweater and some tiny antlers. Lets see how he looks with them on.” the other slave replied as she picked me up.

“I will have you drawn and quartered! Put me down at once!” I asserted.

“Oh, look.” said the new slave. “He’s meowing, I think he likes it. Lets put a jingle bell on his tail too.”

I think I may have misjudged our slaves…

(Word Count: 344)