So Many Belittling Thoughts

So Many Belittling Thoughts


What do you do when you cheat and your woman finds out, regardless of how that may be? You fight about it nonstop for hours which turn into days before becoming weeks. Your relationship tears away until it is only being held together by a pin head. Your woman begins to say things that dont mean anything to her but that tears you apart. Sometimes, accidentally, she says something that makes you wonder just what she is doing or if she even cares anymore. Then one day you find yourself out with the guys just chilling and suddenly you discover that your looking at people in a totally different way. Are you starting to lose feelings for your woman? Are your physical needs kicking in and taking over your brain waves? Or are you simply trying to come up with a backup for when things finally topple? You dwell on that thought for awhile then begin hearing your friends around you talking about the same thing. Are you in it alone? Is it okay to talk to your friends about it since they are going through the same thing? And what about the biggest question of them all.....do you want to save your relationship? If you want to can you? Is it too late? Did you make one too many mistakes? Can she ever forgive you? How long will it take to know the true answer? And when the answer is given to you how will you know its right in front of your eyes and that what your hearing and seeing is something you should be believing? Now here is a spin on things....what if your married when all of this is thrown into the air and released to the public like pollen to the earth? Oh, and what if you have a kid? Do you begin wondering if you only got married because of the child? Do you wonder if the child would ever understand if they were to find out? How do you answer all of these mindplaying riddles? Can you turn your back to the entire situation never to look back and try to rebuild what you once had? Maybe you run from everything that had to do with it? Then again you could always try to fix everything and learn to live with it for the rest of your life. Or can you? I dont have the solution to any of these jumbled equations. None of it makes sense to me. I dont understand how one night can bring such a riddle out of a box. Does anyone have the answer? Can this puzzle be put together? If someone had the answer would they be willing to share it with a cheating man that has a mind so fogged with horrible memories and inquiries that their own name is no longer acceptable to themself?


By: Donald D. Kenworthy Jr.