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Rated: E · Folder · Activity · #1538250
To explain Abstract example without telling the idea. Show not Tell.
Abstract sentence: She's always hostile.

Specific version:

Michelle's face is permanently etched with anger lines. Her voice is gruff from years of barking at all those around her. None are exceptions.

Joseph, sweat dripping, inched the new John Deere mower around the Peace rose with its mirad of yellow and pink blooms. Michelle is screaming, "Get closer to the fricking fence will ya!"

Josh, washing the maroon Escalade buffed and shined with the beige chamois cloth until a high gloss was formed. Voice dripping with venom, Michelle screamed, "You left a streak on the windshield."

Rodger, hoping to avoid the bitterness Michelle handed out incessantly these days, eased the garden gate closed, locking it behind him. A barage of obcenities followed him. "I guess you've got a six pack of beer in there with you!" Michelle screamed. What demons lurked inside her soul to cause such hatred for the ones who loved her are as unknown to her as they are to all around her.

Abstract: He was mean.

Specific:
The tears slipping down his four year old son's cheeks made no difference to Henry as he threw the child's pet calico kitten against the wall mangling it's small body. With a soft touch, Tommy, picked up the bleeding, lifeless form that had been his best buddy.

The slap resounded like a clap of thunder against the child's face. "I told you and your mama I didn't want no damn cat in this house!" The stench of alcohlol permeated from Henry's green Mississippi Forestry uniform. In a drunken rage, he took all Tommy's transformers to the porch and stomped them with the heavy black steel toed boots he wore.

Coming up the drive in the green ford pinto, Sandra, knew the situation couldn't be good when she saw the look on Henry's face. Before she could get inside the red brick house with it's black shutters Henry grabbed her by the long red locks of hair he once so lovingly stroked and ripped a handfull from her head. A caloused fist slammed into her face leaving the print of a Dekalb High School classring on her cheek. "I told you I didn't want the kid to have no cat in the house!!"

Abstract:She/he was un-happy.

Specific:
Dancing in her pink Dora, the Explorer, dress, Melissa giggled. The red, white, and blue ice cream truck with its shinny silver bell clang, clang, clanging was making it's way down the street. "Dad, I want a Blue Belle Nutty Buddy today." Excitement bubbled over in her voice.

Mikey, in his San Francisco forty-niners sweat suit and Nike shoes, broke her heart when he announced they would be eating less ice cream and exercising more.

Hoping to garner sympathy from Grandpa, Melissa exclaimed, "Grandpa, I'm crying now."

Abstract: My grandmother was/is a thief.

Specific:

Wearing a bright red and white gingham apron over her light blue dress, Granny took the home woven basket from the shelf. Making her way down the newly pored concrete steps, she headed to the chicken house. Black and white Dominiker hens squawked as Granny slipped her hands underneath them to steal the brown speckled eggs they had laid.

Abstract:I'm a mess.

Specific:
Reaching for the pale yellow Puffs tissue, tears slipped unabashedly down my cheeks. The black motorola cell went to voice mail as it went unanswered. I pulled the purple satin comforter futher over my head and burrowed deeper into the darkness of depression. It has been five years since Bob, my husband, simply disappeared off the face of the earth, untraceable and today out of the wild blue yonder he calls and tries to carry on a conversation like nothing has ever transpired; like I didn't lose my beautiful Magnolia double wide mobile home on three acres in Neshoba County; like he didn't destroy or carry off all my personal pictures and my angel collection; like he didn't overdraw our mutual Regions checking account by $5,000 I had to pay off; like he thought I had enjoyed living in a Dutchman travel trailer and working three jobs the past five years since his disappearing act. Numb at first, I didn't think it had any effect on me at all. Then today I cannot seem to motivate myself to want to even get out of bed. I cannot stop the flow of tears and I am really a mess. I am in the depths of darkness of the soul.

Assignment 2:

1. George has been working at the same automobile factory six days a week, ten hours a day, for the past twelve years.
(Use a simile or a metaphor to show how worn out George was feeling.)

George was as tired as an old dry rotted tire.
George was as tired as the birthday balloon the next day.
George was as tired as the 30 year old nag in the barn hall.

2. Katie had been working all day in the summer sun.
(Use a simile or a metaphor to show how hot and tired Katie was feeling.)


Katie was drooping like a hot house flower after transportation for several days.
Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire, Katie was ready for a break.
Hot and tired as the racehorse at the finishline on July 4th, Katie needed a cool shower.

3. This is Kim Su's first day at college, and she is in the middle of a chaotic morning registration session.
{Use a simile or a metaphor to show either how confused Kim feels or how chaotic the entire session is.)


As confused as a third grader sitting in a college class, Kim Su wondered if she'd ever find her way around.
Kim Su felt somewhat like a child wearing a blindfold searching for the donkey's tail in the confusion of class registration.
Mixed up as a bird eating Chinaberries, Kim Su's first day at college was nothing like high school class registration.


4.Victor spent his entire summer vacation watching quiz shows and soap operas on television.
(Use a simile or a metaphor to describe the state of Victor's mind by the end of his vacation.)


Stagnant as a putrid stationary hole of water, Victor's brain needed reawakening after a lazy summer vacation.
Lazy as a dead pig in a mudhole, Victor spent his entire summer vacation doing nothing more than vegging on the sofa in front of a television.
After doing nothing but watching television all summer, Victor was as unable to think for himself as a calf led on a rope.

5. After all the troubles of the past few weeks, Sandy felt peaceful at last.
(Use a simile or a metaphor to describe how peaceful or relieved Sandy was feeling.)


Sandy felt as free as a balloon floating toward the sky.
Sandy felt as peaceful as the world did that first Sunday when God rested and said it was good.
Serene as water on the lake at midnight on a still summer night, Sandy felt the tensions of the past few weeks ebb away.



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