Nothing Plain About This Family

Nothing Plain About This Family


When old money marries old money, certain things are expected of the newlyweds, and the rapid production of offspring is high on the list. The main players in the recent Borden-Nestlé marriage - with a combined family history of more than 280 years - know this first-hand. Happily for them, though, the pressure’s off: little Dairy was introduced to society mere weeks after the nuptials. There is one concern, though: he’s liquid. According to doctors at the Pasteurization Institute, a recessive gene is the cause.



“We were all set with the funnel,” Cal Cremora, the proud father told the SableRidge Intelligencer.  “Imagine our surprise, then, when C-Mate’s vacuum seal broke and, instead of a puff of ultra-fine powder, a couple of milliliters of fluid gush out and run into the cup.” The nurses didn’t hesitate a moment, though, and quickly sealed the little dollop of joy into his own plastic capsule.

“We had a space all set aside on the main shelf,” said C-Mate, “but it has worked out well. He has a nice place in the refrigerator door - right behind the margarine - and the compartment has its own plastic door, so he’s safe from the hardest door-slams. Also, since that door is see-through, keeping an eye on him is a snap.” Doctors say that, with standard refrigeration, Dairy should have no trouble meeting or exceeding his shelf life.


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