Today

Everyday I get up thinking That I will somehow make today a better day than yesterday, and everyday I disappoint myself a little more. I get excited then it turns out to be more than I could handle for that moment. This is what depression does. This is what being trapped in the house does. This is what losing a job due to an angry nine year old does.Ten years of a hated marraige, low self-esteem and debt does.

Yes but I will get up because I know that God loves me. I will push on because I know he forgives me. After all the rotten things I'v done in my life Jesus still loves me and triies to teach me. He hasn't given up on me.So I will try not to give up on myself and when I am weak, I will call out his name and beg for mercy for my own bad thoughts and ask for help for that day.

I will not worry about tommorrow and I will not live in yesterday. Let the creditors call. Soon I will be able to pay them. Let my child act out hopefully I can find a way to tell him about this great love and perhaps the child will learn not only the lessons for that day but also how to turn to God when he needs help that I can't provide.

I will not let this life pass me by.I will think of something possitive for today. Just for taday I will love me. Just for taday I will not be so harsh with myself and just for today I will see that I have something to offer.