Valentine's Day

I’d like to tell you a story…a story that enveloped my life…it was my life for a short period of time. Please listen.

I woke up one morning feeling groggy and sleep deprived. It felt like any other day. It felt like every day. I slammed the off button on my alarm clock and violently threw my comforter to the other side of the bed. Mornings never worked well for me and I had the strangest feeling they never would. I pulled myself up using what little strength I possessed and stepped onto the cold, wooden floor of my bedroom. After the initial shiver that went racing down my spine, I stood up and shuffled towards the bathroom. My morning routine usually lasted for about an hour or so, depending on how lazy I was feeling that particular day. This day, I decided to dress up a little bit, show the world that I did in fact have a sense of fashion. After I threw on my skinny jeans and baby doll dress, I tossed my hair until it looked just right and made my way out into the living room of the apartment I shared with my best friend. When I opened my bedroom door, however, I was bombarded with floating red hearts and the overbearing fragrance of fresh cut flowers. Then, I was reminded of the holiday…

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” shouted my overly hyper roommate. I swear, she was as close as a sister to me, but I just couldn’t help being annoyed by her cheery tone so early in the morning…every morning…especially this morning.

“Did you see what Daniel got me? He surprised me. Isn’t he just the best?!” she shouted in a high pitched voice, shoving a small jewelry box in my face. After I had managed to catch her frenzied hand in mid-air, I was able to see the diamond earrings glistening inside the box. I had to admit, they were gorgeous.

There were times that I was jealous of my friend. Even though she and her boyfriend didn’t have the best relationship, they always seemed to work it out in the end. And, hey, at least she had someone. Yeah, I had been on a few dates, but not one guy seemed to capture my interest. I was the type that grew bored easily, and I needed someone who was able to constantly entertain me. I needed surprises, spontaneity and things out of the ordinary otherwise the guy seemed like yesterday’s breakfast…and I didn’t usually eat breakfast so that’s not saying much.

Oh well, I was just going to celebrate this Valentine’s Day like I’ve celebrated all of them for my past twenty three years of living….alone… Note to self: go to grocery store…I have a date with a tub of ice cream tonight.

I debated with myself for a few moments about whether I should just crash back into bed or leave the apartment for the day. My bed sure looked tempting, but there was always time for it later. Yep, just me, my tub of ice cream, and overly cheesy chick flicks blaring on my twenty inch television screen.

I grabbed my jacket and keys and dreaded heading out into the romantically revolting atmosphere I was about to emerge myself in. When I exited my apartment building, there was more of the same thing I had just witnessed in my very own home: floating hearts, red roses being sold on street corners, couples walking hand in hand on the sidewalk, and restaurants putting up Valentine’s Day specials on their menus. I rolled my eyes as I secretly vomited in my imagination. I might’ve been bitter, but did everyone have to remind me that I was alone and single? I scoffed at the happy couples around me as I rapidly made my way to the grocery store.

I walked in, trying hard to ignore all the merchandise displayed for this commercial holiday and aimed my power walk towards the dessert aisle. When I reached the only good thing that was present in my life, I looked on in wonderment. There were so many flavors of ice cream that I found it hard to pick just one. What kind of flavor described the Valentine’s atmosphere of this year? Last year I enjoyed the company of cherry cordial, the year before that was dulce de leche, and I even spoiled myself a little extra that year with vanilla fudge swirl. However, this year seemed to be simple. I passed the exquisite flavors until I found just what I was looking for…plain ol’ vanilla. This year didn’t feel like anything else. I didn’t feel the need to lace it with some extravagant flavor, so I figured this old fashioned treat would do the trick.

I opened the freezer door and stuck my head into the pseudo-artic environment, reaching for my savory treat. When I was about to pull myself out, however, I noticed the door had stayed open rather than crash into my backside. I turned around to realize a man had been holding the door open for me as I struggled to grab a nonsticky tub of ice cream. After I had completely made way for the freezer door to shut, he released the door handle and let it return to its original place. This man seemed familiar to me. I know for a fact I had never seen him before in my life, but he still felt familiar, as if I had known him for a long time. I looked into his green eyes and felt safe. I don’t know what it was about him, but everything about him was so comforting that I found it hard not to stare. He was about five feet, ten inches tall, slender built, chiseled jaw line. His hair was short and dark brown, messily styled, yet accented his facial features nicely. After a few seconds, I saw a smile surface on his face as he quickly cleared his throat, bringing me back to reality.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Thanks,” I rapidly spewed, mentally kicking myself for almost drooling.

“Not a problem,” he replied. His voice was so gentle and pleasant to listen to. “Do you always eat ice cream when it’s fifty five degrees outside?” he asked, pointing to the tub in my hands.

“Oh, this? It’s a Valentine…” I cut myself off not wanting to reveal my true intentions with the dessert. How could I make myself look even more pathetic than I already had?

“It’s something for you and your Valentine?” he asked, sincerely.

“No, no, no, I don’t have a Valentine. I’m single.” What?! How could I have blatantly said that? I could’ve lied and said “Yes, this is for me and my Valentine. I’m not a loser on this day. I do have someone waiting for me at home,” but no, I had to tell a complete stranger the sorry truth about my life. I might as well have just told him my social security number, my kindergarten teacher’s name and the fact that I cry when I watch A Charlie Brown Christmas.

“Ah, I see. Well, enjoy your ice cream. See ya around,” he said, giving a cool and collected wave as he walked in the opposite direction.

“S-see ya,” I stammered.

I was the biggest idiot ever. How could I have done that? Was that why I was single? It’s not that the guys all had problems, it was that I did stupid things like that!

As I watched him walk in the opposite direction, I felt a pang in my heart that I had never felt before. I dropped my head and shuffled over to the DVD rental section looking for the other half of the fun filled night ahead of me.

What was I going to watch? Sleepless in Seattle? No, that movie was overdone. You’ve Got Mail? What was it with this store and the Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks pairing? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I had heard of this one. The title was catchy. I picked it up and continued looking because, let’s face it, one movie wasn’t going to get me through that long night. I picked up a few other chick flicks. I found myself kind of side-shifting as I made my way down the aisles of movies. Too focused on my next movie selection and not on my surroundings, I ended up crashing into an innocent bystander who just wanted to find a film of their own. I quickly came to my senses and looked up to find that it was the same guy from the ice cream section. He looked back at me and smiled.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re stalking me,” he said, calmly.

Don’t blow this! I screamed to myself.

“I should say the same thing,” I returned.

“Ah, touché.”

“So, picking out some movies for a special night with your own Valentine?” I asked. I thought this was a good, nonchalant thing to say and it also revealed his romantic status as well.

“Yes, because The Terminator and Bullit are great date movies.” I could sense some light sarcasm in his voice as he showed me the DVD covers.

“Wow, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Steve McQueen. Lucky girl. Those totally set up a romantic atmosphere. I’m jealous,” I joked back. He laughed. I wasn’t actually making a fool of myself. I was surprised.

“Yeah, I actually don’t have a Valentine, either. I’m single as well,” he said, almost as if repeating what I had told him earlier.

“Ah, well, that’s too bad,” I said.

“How so?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I just thought that seemed like a good, politically correct thing to say,” I replied with all honesty. He laughed again. His little chuckles were so charming it made me smile along with him.

“You seem to have your hands full with great blockbusters,” he said.

“I always thought The Notebook should’ve won an Oscar,” I replied.

“Oh, totally. I agree.”

We both laughed. It felt so natural.

“I’m Jacob, by the way,” he said, holding out a hand.

“Mily. Nice to meet you,” I responded in kind.

“The pleasure is all mine,” he replied, smiling.

And that’s how we met. It’s weird to think that you meet the most important people in your life in the strangest places. There I was wallowing in my own self pity on the most romantic day of the year, and I unexpectedly find my soul mate at the same time.
That night, we had our own movie night and chowed down on ice cream. It was the perfect Valentine’s Day date. I think what I loved the most about it was its simplicity. That’s actually how all of our Valentine’s Day dates were. No elaborate plans were made. No reservations at fancy, overpriced restaurants. No need to spend an extravagant amount of money on fine jewelry. No obligation to show how much we loved each other for just this one day out of the year. Just the fact that we were together on February fourteenth was enough.

Jacob was different from all other guys. I know you’re thinking I’m saying that because he was the love of my life, but it was true. He was the perfect gentlemen. He was never afraid to share what was on his mind, good or bad, and that was one thing I really appreciated. Even if I didn’t want to hear what he had to say, he was honest and open, and that’s something you don’t get much of these days. He’d always provide opinions on a problem I had and found ways to solve it. Even the ones he couldn’t solve, he’d always be with me every step of the way until I found my answer. He was never boring, either. He always had something interesting to say whether it was a joke, an anecdote, or just something insightful, and he didn’t just talk to talk. His words had substance and feeling. On top of all that, he certainly had the looks any woman would go for. He was kind of the boy next door type; charming, boyish, yet had just enough ruggedness to be manly. His fashion sense was top notch, even for just lazy Sundays. I never had to tell him to change his clothes or fix his hair. Actually, there were times he told me to do that and I thought my style was rather amazing.

Now that I told you a little bit about him, let me tell you about another Valentine’s Day we shared. It was the fourth year we had been together. We made our anniversary date February fourteenth because we felt that this day was special to us in many ways. That night, we gathered up our movie selections, bought the ice cream that was so essential to this day, and set up the couch for our viewing pleasure. I had no particular position I’d sit in. Just being next to him was enough for me and I could tell he felt the same way. After four years he was still the one that made my heart beat fast and make my cheeks blush as red as roses.

I snuggled up next to him, the large bowl of ice cream rested in his lap, and Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible III playing on the TV screen. We never limited our movie choices to chick flicks or romantic movies, being that this holiday was centered on the genre. This was our thing.

I had my head rested on Jacob’s chest and just as Tom Cruise was locked in a fantastic gunfight, I felt him take a deep breath, my head moving up and down with the rhythm of his inhale and exhale. Then, I felt vibrations as he began to speak.

“Mily, can I ask you something?”

“After the movie,” I said, quietly snickering.

“Well, I’ll just ask anyway, and you can answer if you want.” I didn’t respond. I was pretending not to listen, but that was impossible. I hung on his every word. His voice always soothed me and no matter how hard I tried, whenever he spoke, I had to listen.

“How much do you love me?”

“Enough to let you talk while I’m watching Tom Cruise and that’s saying something. Although, I do have to admit, if you keep talking, that love is gonna disappear,” I replied.

“Wow, tough competition.”

“You’re not too far off, don’t worry.”

“Can I ask you something else?” I lightly nodded. “Will you marry me?”

At first, I didn’t quite catch what he had said. I think I was too shocked and I was pretty sure I was making up things in my head. I shot up and looked him dead straight in his eyes; his gentle, green eyes that his black, thick rimmed glasses seemed to accent even more.

“I’m sorry, I think I heard you wrong. Can you repeat that?” I saw a smile creep across his face as he began to speak.

“Will-you-marry-me?” he said, carefully saying each word. I heard it that time, and no, I wasn’t imagining things. He was seriously asking me this. It took a second to process it, but as soon as I got a grasp on the situation, I shouted my answer with no hesitation.

“Of course! Yes, yes and a thousand times yes!”

“Good, because if you had said no, I would’ve had to go back to the jewelry store to return this, and you know how much I hate dealing with customer service,” he said, pulling out a red jewelry box from his pocket. When he opened the box, I saw the most beautiful diamond ring glistening under what little light the television screen allowed. He removed it from the box and held out my hand, extending my fingers. My heart was literally about to leap out of my chest when I felt my hand tingle as he slowly placed the ring on the appropriate finger. It fit perfectly, almost as if it belonged there.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“I love it,” I replied. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I had the biggest smile on my face and it showed no signs of going away. My finger had been empty for the past twenty some odd years of my life, and having this ring on it seemed to be the perfect fit.

“I know we agreed not to do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day and I know that jewelry is a cliché gift to give and everything, but I just thought that-“

I quickly kissed him, cutting off his words. I didn’t need to hear anything else nor did I feel the need to watch Tom Cruise anymore. That A-list actor couldn’t have held a candle to Jacob anymore. I had my own hotshot right there in my living room and I didn’t need anything else.

And that’s how we got engaged. The four years we spent together flew by as if they were nothing. He was the one that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I had no reservations about that. If anyone asked me about having second thoughts, I’d tell them that I was never so sure about anything in my entire life. I knew what I wanted, and it was him.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you never wanted to let them go, and they loved you just the same to not let you? That’s how I felt with Jacob. There are really no words to describe how in love we were. We knew it felt right. Everything about our relationship felt right. There were never any doubts about where we were going and there were never any regrets about where we’ve been. Now I walk down the aisle, a veil shrouding my face, all eyes on me. Everyone practically in tears around me. But before I get to that, let me tell you about something else.

It was yet another Valentine’s Day, not too long ago from the present. That day, we decided to branch out and leave our little shared apartment instead of stay in and watch movies and eat ice cream. It took me hours to get ready. We had been together for five years by this time, yet I was still nervous to go on a date with him. I loved that feeling. No matter how much time passed, he was still able to make the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

He had been dressed for about an hour before I could even think about being done, but he still waited patiently on the couch, watching me pace back and forth across the apartment. I knew he was chuckling at me, but it wasn’t a patronizing laugh. It was more of his amusement with how I had been acting that night. He made me giggle along with him and I stopped in the middle of my preparation. I took one, long, hard look at him. He had faded, dark jeans, black dress shoes, and donned a black suit blazer with a light green button up shirt underneath that accented his green eyes. He had decided to wear his thick rimmed glasses that night, which I didn’t blame him for because they added a sort of sophisticated charm to his attire. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

At that moment, I didn’t even want to go out. I didn’t want to share him with the world because I was scared someone would take him away from me. What would I have done if he was gone? I didn’t want to admit it, but I honestly couldn’t imagine my life without him. Before he came along, I never thought it’d come to this. That I’d find a guy that could change my life so much that I’d actually depend on him being there day in and day out. I just wanted to keep him here with me, secluded from the rest of society and safe in our own little world.

After he noticed my facial expression become serious, he stood up and began walking towards me. Slowly, he slipped his hands around my waist and gently pulled me towards him. Then, he gave me the sweetest kiss that made my heart skip a beat. After he pulled away, I looked into his eyes with a quizzical expression.

“What was that for?” I asked.

“For being you.”

“I assume that’s a good thing?”

“It’s a wonderful thing.” He smiled. If I was only allowed to have one thing in the entire universe, it would be to see his smile. I didn’t need anything else.

Suddenly, I realized that it was getting late when I noticed that I didn’t even have my dress on yet. I ran back into the bedroom and slipped into my black dress, slid on my heels, and did some last minute touch up with my make up. When I came back out of the room, he was waiting for me, as patient as ever.

“Wow, and I thought you were beautiful before you ran into the room,” he said.

“Yeah, because an under slip is sexy, I know,” I replied.

“You look sexy in anything.”

“Ok, enough with the flattery. You already know you’re getting lucky tonight, buddy.”

“I already am lucky.”

Darn him and his way with words. That’s what made me fall for him all over again. It was silly, but I couldn’t help it.
Five minutes later, we finally left. Our first traditional Valentine’s Day date had commenced. I had to admit I was excited. It actually felt like our first date all over again: that awkward feeling of being together, the heart beating a million miles a minute, the pressure of having a good first impression. All the essential parts of a date were there. After five years, it almost felt unreal to be having these emotions well up inside me. I wondered if he felt it too. I’m sure he did, but he was really good at hiding his emotions and keeping calm under pressure. So good, in fact, that it irritated me sometimes. It was great to know that he wasn’t a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode at any second, but there were times where I wanted him to show a little more aggression. It’s a weird thing to wish for, but when everything seems so perfect about something, you can’t help but want to find the imperfections.

After our dinner at an overpriced, fancy restaurant, we decided to take a walk on the boardwalk under the bright, moonlit sky. That moment felt complete. Holding hands under the dimly lit lamplights, laughing, reminiscing…it all felt like a fantasy, but it was right there in front of me.


We sat down at a bench that overlooked the water. As we sat there, Jacob twiddled with my fingers in between his. My engagement ring sparkled in the moonlight. He proposed a year ago on this day. Accepting his proposal was the easiest decision I ever made in my life. Even though a year passed since our engagement, we had only just begun making arrangements for our wedding a few months prior. We didn’t want to rush anything, so we were taking the plans one step at a time. We had planned to have the wedding when spring rolled around. Sometimes we even joked and said we should have the wedding on Valentine’s Day, since the day meant so much to us, but we decided against it. Having so many special occasions on one day seemed a little selfish, so we wanted to keep our wedding anniversary separate.

As we sat there in the relatively deserted area, I felt a sudden chill come over me. I gave an obvious shiver. Jacob noticed and put his jacket around me almost immediately, as if it were an automatic reflex.

“Come on, let’s go home,” he said. I agreed and stood up along with him. He held me close to him as we walked, rubbing my shoulders to keep me warm. When we were close to exiting the park that bordered the lake, we heard footsteps behind us. Jacob began walking faster. His hurried pace was making me nervous. He shifted his eyes from left to right, and constantly looked over his shoulder. Suddenly, a man emerged from the darkness and stood in front of us, halting us in our path. His appearance was that of a homeless man, ragged clothing, and hair clumped and oily with dust sprinkled throughout it, teeth rotting, and a raggedy beard growing around his face.

Jacob tried to maneuver us around him, but everywhere he went the man blocked him. The man’s hands were inside of his jacket, and I could tell Jacob felt a little uneasy.

“Can we help you?” asked Jacob, calmly.

“Gimme all your money!” demanded the man.

“You can have anything you want, just stay calm,” replied Jacob.

“Hurry up!”

“Ok, ok. Here, this is everything I have.” Jacob took out all the cash in his wallet and handed it to the man, making sure not to excite him anymore than he already was.

“The ring too!” said the man, noticing the diamond ring on my hand.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that,” said Jacob.

“Give it, now!” he said.

“I already gave you over two hundred dollars in cash. I’ll give you my cell phone, my jacket, my shoes, anything you want, but you can’t have that.”

The man jolted closer to me, but Jacob immediately jumped in between us.

“Give it to me!” yelled the man again. Suddenly, he revealed what he had hidden in his jacket. He held the barrel of a gun directly at Jacob. I screamed when I saw it.

“There’s no need for that. I don’t want any trouble, please,” said Jacob.

“Give me the damn ring and there won’t be any,” said the man, shoving the pistol into Jacob’s abdomen.

“Look, I already gave you everything I had just, please, don’t do this.”

“I said give it to me!” the man lunged, and Jacob immediately reacted. Suddenly, a gunshot rang throughout the park. The next thing I saw was the man running away and Jacob collapse to the ground. When I turned him over, I saw blood quickly staining his green shirt.

“Jacob! Jacob! Help!! Someone please help!!” I yelled. Tears quickly ran down my face. I was frantic and I had no idea what to do. I grabbed his hand tightly and looked into his eyes.

“Mi…Mily,” he muttered.

“Don’t talk. Save your strength. I’ll get help,” I said through short breaths. I grabbed my phone out of my purse and immediately dialed 911.

“It’s going to be okay, don’t worry. You’ll be okay,” I said, seeming to reassure myself more than him. This couldn’t have been happening. How could this have happened? Why now? Why? I was scared. I was afraid now more than ever. What was I supposed to do? What could I do?

“Don’t cry, Mily. You know I hate to see you cry,” he said quietly. He reached up and weakly wiped a tear from my cheek.

“Save your strength. An ambulance will be here soon,” I said.

“You’re beautiful, Mily. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Jacob, please, don’t talk.”

“I love you so much.”

“Don’t you do that, Jacob. Don’t do it.”

“I…lo…”

His arm dropped to his side. I no longer felt his warm touch on my cheek.

“Jacob!” I screamed. I screamed his name over and over again. My throat began to strain and tears flooded my face. Not too long after, I heard sirens in the distance.

That was the darkest day of my life. Thoughts raced through my head to the point that they all collided with each other. One thought, however, eventually screamed out louder than the rest. Will Jacob be all right? I prayed so hard that he would be. I wasn’t certain of anything anymore. The only thing I knew was that I couldn’t live without him. There was no way.

As I said before, I now walk down the aisle, all eyes on me. I try my hardest not to cry, but I feel tears welling up as I walk closer to the end of the walkway. Each step makes me nervous. Each heartbeat pounds in my chest. And all I can think about is wishing him a Happy Valentine’s Day again…