I am a writer

I always want my thoughts to be organized. Left on my brain alone, thoughts will be like an abstract form of art that i cant decipher. I easily forget things. When distracted by too many things that call for my attention, i can easily forget an intense feeling or desire that i want to pursue. There are just too many things that come across my mind everday that i want to digest in my mind in the future,whenever i need them.This is why i find writing an essential part of my system. I like to write things down and that's how i remember them. When im happy and overwhelmed, i write them down and thats how i savor these feelings forever. When i am hurt,i write every detail that causes it,and thats how i unload them out of my chest. When i am confused with contradicting thoughts, writing them down makes this contradicting thoughts meet halfway. You see, thats how I regard myself as a writer. Writing is a necessity for me. Not doing it makes me feel very disoriented.



Back in my schooldays, I enjoyed writing short stories about any thing. I had fun telling stories about myself in the form of writing. I always take pride whenever i get credits for the simple stories that I write. When i was growing up, I was faced with so much intense emotions of becoming an adolescent. That's when i started to write poetries. They are not those that follow the guidelines of what they call poetries,with the rhyme,count and all. But just writing down some words that together best explain happiness,pain,fear,rejection ,dreams and love that I feel makes a piece of writing a form poetry to me.That was the part of my life when i wrote one poem after the other.Reading them to myself afterwards makes me feel fulfilled.



Maybe a good hobby would make a good responsibility, So I became the editor in chief of my school organ in my senior year. Though i love writing,i thought being the chief editor wasnt that fun as it sounds. i had lots of responsibility.I had to do everything to make the paper from the lay out,the contents,typing and printing them as if i was the only one behind the school organ. Its a frustrating experience as an editor in chief when i had to do most of the job alone when the fact is that the school organ should have been a collaboration of many writing talents and organizational skills. Not just the effort of one person alone. In a way, i regret letting that chance pass by. Thinking about it now, I should have pushed myself a little harder,maybe gave a little more heart to it rather that just having rushed things up just to print every issue out and beat every deadline.That was just one chance that I had where i can use my writing hobby to some bigger purpose,but i let stress and pressure blow that chance away. When I graduated for highschool, I considered taking journalism in college.But that didnt come to reality as i was influenced not to take it and pursue another career instead.



Now,more than ever, I still write. I keep a journal. It keeps me sane.Perhaps i could not stop writing. Maybe i will never be famous out of my writings for im not that great and i dont intend to be.Maybe I already let my chance pass by.I dont have and maybe will never have technical training for writing but that will not change the way I see myself. I am a writer. I will continue to write because it makes me feel more alive.



I am a writer. I write to make myself better. I write to make the lives of the people around me a little better in my own ways. I write in order to be heard. I write to share.

I am writer. Nothing will change that.