Lost Darkness

A figure stumbled as it ran through the town, tripping over some litter. It turned sharply as some people came out of an alley. It breathed heavily as it ran, all hunched over, protecting the bundle in its arms. It came to a street lined with houses and set off down it, running more quickly now, but more smoothly. It stopped outside number 12. It didn't even pause for breath as it left the bundle, with a letter enclosed, on the doorstep and sped off, disappearing into the darkness. Presently, a woman came to the door, stopped at the sight of the bundle, picked up the letter and opened it. She froze, then looked around to see if anyone was watching, then, carefully, picked up the bundle and took it inside, shutting the door behind her.

***

"Matt? Are you ok?"
I turned from the window of the classroom, to find everyone had left, and to see the concerned face of Isobel staring at me with big blue eyes. I slowly came out of my stupor and tried to remember what had just happened. It was all dark. And... Screaming. I thought I could still hear it.
"I'm fine..." I said, then asked, "Don't you hear that?"
"Hear what, Matt?" She said, cocking her head to one side. "Are you sure you're ok? You look really pale."
"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired," I said. It was true. I hadn't slept properly in days. Every night when I tried to sleep, the dream came back, always the same. Darkness. Screaming. And a terrible feeling of horror and dread. Nothing more. Sometimes I thought I recognised the screams and I strained to hear something else. But there was nothing. Once when I awoke, I thought the screaming continued. But it was only coming from my own mouth. Luckily, everyone in my house is a deep sleeper, so no one came rushing to my aid.
"I'll say!" Isobel replied. "You were nearly asleep then."

She looked at me with a strange expression on her face. She had a wonderful face, with these amazing piercing blue eyes. I still remember when I first saw her, two years ago. I had just moved here with my family. My dad said he wanted to start "a new life". I had no idea what he meant at the time. And it was a long while before I found out.

But anyway. New school. New home. New life. Nothing much new about the school though. It looked a bit different but inside, it was the same, full of chavs and scene kids. That's what I thought anyway. She was the first person I saw when I walked into my new form room. And I fell in love with her straight away. She looked absolutely amazing. She wasn't wearing anything particularly fashionable. Just a plain black hoody and some ripped jeans. She had shoulder length light brown hair. It's longer now, goes down her back. But I looked into her eyes. And she looked back at me. And I thought. I want to spend my life with this girl. And I meant it.

She had such amazing eyes as well. The bluest of blue. I felt naked in front of them. It was like she could see into my soul. I almost went to cover my crotch. I'm not even joking. She saw my stare, and returned it, with a bemused look. I tried to stop, but I just couldn't. It was like she had hypnotised me. I did manage to close my mouth though, which, up to this point, I didn't even realise, was practically going through the floor. Eventually she said "what?" and she had the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. I was totally in love.

I had never wanted anything more than to say "I love you" right there and then. But after a while I just mumbled "nothing" and sat down. After about 5 minutes, I stole another look at her, and she had taken off her hoody to reveal a Machine Head t-shirt that proclaimed in large letters on the back 'This is a right to life, not religious rights act'. My love for her had just intensified.

We were fast friends, her not having many friends at the school, and we hung around in our own little group. Us and a few other people. A few times, I have plucked up the courage to ask her out, but every time, the second I saw her face, my legs just disappear from underneath me and all the courage was hit out of me by her immense blue eyes.

"Matt!!" I snapped back to where I was. Isobel was still staring at me. "Are you sure you're ok? Really sure? If you're not you know you can always talk to me, right?" I looked her straight in the eye.
"I know, Is, I know. And, yeah, I'm totally fine. Trust me" I said. "Now, come on. Let's go meet Dave and Alex, yeah? They'll be thinking we've run off somewhere without them."
"Alright" she replied, and we left.

Dave was waiting for us with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "What the fuck were you two doing in there!? Having sex or something!?" He said.
"Fuck off, Dave" I replied, but inside all I could think was, I wish. "Where's Alex?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Turns out, she had her guitar lesson tonight" said Dave, relaxing a little.
“Ah, shit, sucks. So what do you want to do? Still want to hang out?” Isobel asked.
“Actually, if it’s ok with you guys, I’d rather go home. Got a lot of work I want to catch up on” said Dave. Typical Dave. He won’t go anywhere if Alex isn’t going. He should just ask her out, I thought.
“Yeah, that’s fine, dude” I said.
“Alright. I’ll catch you guys tomorrow, yeah?” Dave said, turning to walk away.
“Yeah, see you” Isobel said, waving.
“Inabit, cracker” I said.
“One day, Matt, someone’s going to kick the crap out of you for being racist and calling them a cracker” Isobel said, laughing.
“Well, Isobel, when that day comes, I’ll stop saying it” I said.
“You just going home then, Matt?” Isobel asked.
“Unless you’ve got something better to do?” I asked, hopefully.
“I’ve actually got some coursework I want to finish” she said “but we can walk home together, because my house is on the way.”
“Yeah, alright” I replied, and we set off together.

We talked about this and that. This being a Machine Head gig we were going to with Ian. And that being coursework, school and suchlike. I must’ve kept staring at her, because she kept asking if there was something on her face. I just couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She was so beautiful. At that point in my life, I didn’t want anything except her. I didn’t care what happened, or what I had to do. I was about to ask her. But then she came out with something completely unexpected that stopped me in my tracks.
“Matt, have you been having… strange dreams lately?” she asked. How the hell does she know? I asked myself. She sounded different when she said that. Like she was a new person altogether. But I ignored it.
“A few” I said. “Why?”
“I know” she said. Her voice was definitely different this time.
“Is? Are you ok?” I asked.
“I know about you.” This was starting to freak me out.
“What? Isobel, what the fuck are you talking about?” She looked at me. I looked into her eyes. They weren’t blue. They were black. “What the fuck is this!?” I said, backing off. She laughed. Or did she? I didn’t know. Whoever was standing in front of me definitely wasn’t Isobel. “Who the hell are you? Where’s Isobel?” I said. She closed her eyes. And opened them again, and there was that piercing blue I knew so well. “Isobel!” I said, relieved.
“What?” She said.
“…You went all weird” I said.
“No I didn’t. You just stopped walking. Is something wrong?” She asked, genuinely puzzled.
“No… No, nothing’s wrong. Must’ve imagined it” I said. Maybe I did imagine it, I thought. Who ever heard of something like that happening?

I said goodbye to Isobel at her door, and went home, my mind completely occupied by what had happened. I braced myself for my mother, and opened my door.
“Oh, Matt! I told you not to wear your ripped jeans to school! Why don’t you wear your new ones?” The same thing every day.
“Because I like my ripped ones. I think it looks cool” I replied.
“Well I think it looks stupid.” She said, sighing.
“Yeah, well, you aren’t me.” I wasn’t having it today. I’d had enough of her constant nagging about my clothes, my hair, my music and my friends.
“You weren’t with that Isobel girl were you?”
“Yes, mother, I was.” I always call her mother when I’m pissed off.
“Why can’t you find a NICE girlfriend?” That did it. I snapped.
“She’s NOT my fucking girlfriend! I just like to hang out with her! Is that so wrong!? Can’t I have friends who’re girls!? And she is ‘NICE’, for your information. She might not be your definition of ‘NICE’ but she’s sure as hell mine. I like her. So fucking lay off!” She stood there, stunned. I was satisfied with my effect. She’d leave Isobel alone now, I thought. But she was just getting started.
“I’ve seen things in the paper about people like her. They… aren’t right.” She said.
“What? What!? So you think she sits around spending her evenings slashing her wrists and thinking she’s worthless? Is that it? And you think she wants to commit suicide. That’s right, isn’t it? I can’t fucking believe you sometimes. Maybe you think that, because you just want it to be true really. If you had your way, I’d never come out of the fucking house, except to go to school. I like Isobel. Maybe I like her as more than a friend. But we’re just friends. And I love having her as a friend. So just FUCK OFF!!” And I went to my room and slammed the door, leaving her in the hall.

I breathed heavily, leaning against my door, listening. She wasn’t going to follow me. I sighed with relief. Every day, it was the same stuff, and I just wasn’t going to take it anymore. It’s not like my mum was a bad mother or anything. She just didn’t like some of my ‘lifestyle choices’ and she chose to put it. I put my favourite CD into my CD player, reached for my laptop, then thought better of it. I wasn’t in the mood for the Internet. Something would just end up pissing me off more, and I’d have a massive argument with someone I didn’t want to have an argument with. That was what happened when I yelled at my mum. I loved my mum. But she seriously got on my fucking nerves sometimes. I guess she was only trying to help. But, I mean, she should’ve stay the fuck out of my life. That’s what I thought at the time. But she was all I had left, since Dad died.

I don’t know when reality turned into dream. All I know was one minute I was lying on my bed, the next I was stood in a field full of some kind of flower. I didn’t know what kind and, at that point, I didn’t care. Isobel was there. She was holding my hand. We could’ve been surrounded by a burning fucking village, and all I would’ve seen was her. Then she pushed me away.
“Run, Matt! Run!” She said, a wild look in her eyes.
“Is? What’s wrong?” I said, alarmed.
“You just have to go! Get away from me!” She turned, and ran into a forest.
“Isobel!” I yelled, but she had already disappeared in the trees.