The Secrets Inside

Silently searching for who I was,
feeling so lost, almost non existent.
My soul turned black, I couldn't stop it.
Life swallowed me, journeying through time,
no feelings; nor thoughts led me to see, the scars forming in me.

As a child it started, forgetting my youth,
always happy, most thought, no one could see
the struggle within me.

Confused, scared, alone, no place to run; the world, unknown, who could I trust?
My family, wilting, already consumed, couldn't see the signs, the secret locked inside. Soon forgetting, filling up, with hurt, for years to come.

Becoming a teen; was not what it seemed, it started again.
Unable to tell, wanting to yell, locking it up,
made wounds; cuts, hid under the skin.
Emotions gone wild, fear; hate; resentment took over, numbing the pain,
helped carry me through.

My family seemed lost, all happening fast, they tried; so it seemed,
I spoke, no action was taken;
Leaving me broken, torn, filled with doubt, stuck in a maze covered in haze,
I ripped them apart, by leaving them out.

This path breaking me down, left me in pieces, stuck, deap;
a grave, dug fresh, by life itself; alone, the world so cold.
Selling my soul, young I did, created a bind, that wont subside.

Now an adult, for all to see, is a shell, emotionless, blank, scared, unwhilling to heal.
No strenght is shown, its carried within, they forget, what I deal with,
still, unresolved; angry as ever; a cracking statue ready to break.
Though time has come, to conquer myself; the demons within, I must;
stand strong, learn from with in, Dont quit, no matter how hopeless; scary life gets,
the keys the heart, so grab the courage, stand up, fight.

Lifes been tough; but im tougher. Life tought me well;
with that, my existance will be known, never forgot.
My souls black, this im sure, yet my fire inside will never flicker; wither; or burn out;
its fed on anger, swallowing pain, leaving hate; which gives me strength;
courange; power; when all is thought left; gone and devored.