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abt how a girl is judged by everyone..she wants a friend who accepts her for what she is.. |
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I slammed the door more strongly than I intended to...I looked at my mom with an apologetic look who was sitting on the dining room table going through some important documents of hers, she looked at me for a second and then decided the documents were important than me. I was still frowning but she didn’t seem to notice...as if it matters to me... by now I have got used to being unnoticed. It’s as if I don’t matter, I don’t matter to anyone in school or home. I paced my steps towards my room, closed the door, firmly latched it and finally turned around to throw my school bag on the bed... which I know I will be yelled at for later, but now I don’t care, I will not let what others say to me or think of me upset me anymore. How can someone declare me ‘dumb’ just because I can’t solve a stupid Math equation? I thought, while switching ON my PC, UPS and main switch in some two seconds time. ‘I am not dumb, it’s just that I am not super quick in solving complicated algebra sums. No one has the right to laugh at me or judge me on the basis of my weaknesses’, I noticed I was still frowning as I looked at my face’s reflection in the black background of my goofy wallpaper. I looked angry, but my eyes looked disappointed though I didn’t know with whom? With myself or with the people I live my life with. My otherwise dark brown eyes became the shade of honey as the daylight hit my face through my room’s window... giving it a translucent look. I stared at my pupil and said within, ‘I am different…I am not perfect, don’t want to be because I am different… maybe I can’t do what others can but there are so many things which I can do which others can’t…’, but was I right in thinking so? What if no one sees me the way I see myself? There has to be someone, some friend who understood me for who I am. I don’t know why but I played a slow instrumental, maybe to soothe my hurt ego and console myself. But I wanted to dance, like I always do… dance till the moment I fall on the floor... dance till the moment my moves convince me that I am worth being on a dance stage someday and that there is no one better than me... But I let the romantic instrumental go on and then as I start giving in and allow the tears to blur my vision, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look back but can’t see anyone through my blurry vision, not wanting to be alone again I close my eyes and let those tears fall the length of my cheek… I felt the same touch again…this time wiping my tears. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a face, a face with eyes of the same shade as mine but they looked caring not disappointed… a face which looked honest and refused to frown… a face which didn’t utter a word but said thousand words... a face I had never seen before but it touched my soul through the warmth of his smile. He took my hand into his and led me to the centre of the room. He was slightly swaying with the music and I realized so was I. He embraced me from behind as his chin rested on my hair. We were moving on the tune of the soft music together. I closed my eyes again and refused to get up if it was a dream... But who is he? Why does the world seem so perfect as he holds me in his embrace? Maybe I am dreaming... I so hope I am not...He turns me around so that I face him and lets me rest my buzzing head on his chest. I had hugged a pillow and cried lot of times before but this was different as I had met a soul which understood mine. The music like the moment went on forever and then someone opened the door. My mom looked at me from above her spectacles for good two or three seconds, then she smiled ..and said, “I think it’s about time you changed your clothes and went to sleep”, I dropped my arms to my sides clutching my skirt in embarrassment, staring at my feet with red warmth creeping up to my ears from my cheeks.. I stood there cursing myself for not latching the door properly.. |
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