A Wish

This is the last day of my life. At night I will turn twenty and die in my sleep.
I have no regrets, no sadness nor fear in me. Somehow, when you know that you are going to die for so long it takes the fear out of your life… what’s the worst that can happen? You’re going to die anyway.

I got out of bed. It was ten already, I let myself sleep in today.
I went to the kitchen and there they were: my beautiful wife and my two amazing children, waiting for me to wake up.
“Daddy! Daddy!”
They jumped one me, hugging my legs.

They are only three and five years old but they already understand the harsh reality that awaits everyone in this world.
“Now now…” I said.
I lifted them in the air and gave them a big hug.
“I’m glad you’re up, I made your favorite breakfast: eggs and bacon with lots of chili,” My wife said with a gentle smile.
“Thank you darling.”

I put the kids down and sat near the table. What a perfect start for such a day: my loving family is here, I’m eating my favorite breakfast and even my favorite song is playing on the radio, can things get any better?
I spent the day by taking the kids out to play for the last time.

When I came back home at night, I tucked the kids in and went to the bedroom.
I closed the door behind me. The only light that got into the room was the streetlight, sneaking through the shades, falling on the wooden floor in the shape of little squares.

As we were laying in bed, my wife suddenly asked me the most unusual of questions.
“Honey, if you had only one wish, what would you wish for?”
“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious? I would ask for what everyone wish for: living past twenty.”
She looked at me with a serious expression. “You know, although we might not remember our parents so well, since they died when we were very young, I remember a conversation I had with my father in his last day.

“I was four, and he seemed so calm about his death, just like you. I asked him why is it that he’s so calm.
“He picked me up, sat me on his lap and looked at me with gentle and understanding eyes. “I believe in fate,” he said, “for some reason this world decided that we should die when we turn twenty. I don’t know why, but that’s the way it is… I think that one should accept his fate rather than try to avoid it. Who knows what could happen if we lived more? Just remember this when you grow older and you’ll have kids of your own, tell them that everything will be alright and that it’s only natural to die. Sometimes getting what you want will only lead to suffering.”
“I think my father was right, my last day is coming soon and I don’t think that I would want to live longer than what the destiny intended me to.”

I looked at my wife while trying to digest the things she just said, is she serious?
“I’m sure your father was a smart man, but if I had one wish, I would definitely ask to live longer… although I don’t think that I missed anything in my life, anything is better than dying for no reason.”
She looked sad. “But think about it, our lives are predictable and safe: we are born, learn the ways of the world, go to school, acquire a profession, marry, have kids and die.
“We wake up each day knowing exactly how it will end, just like we know the sun is going to set. If we wouldn’t know when we die, we would always be afraid of it and we might do unexpected or foolish things. We would not even be aware that we may die one day. A situation like this can only cause harm, think how much anarchy would be in the world…”

I took a moment to think. “I disagree darling. As you said, we have a safe and predictable life, but how often is it that we are really excited about something? Sure, we have our big events in life: the first day in school, our first day at work, our wedding day and the first child that comes into this world… but other than that, is there really anything interesting? You could write a book our life when we are only three years old, and be mostly accurate about what will happen. The only surprising events that could happen are accidents or diseases.

“I don’t know… sometimes I just think that we would be better off if there was more excitement in our lives. Hell, I’m going to die in a few hours and I’m not even nervous, is that normal?”
She stayed silent and looked at me with lively and compassionate eyes while giving me a long kiss. She knew that this is the last time she will see me alive, and that in the morning the “cleaners” will knock on the door and pick up my body. “Good night honey.”

We fell asleep.