Dream guide

Now on to how to write dreams. In a general sense one has to be very lucky to have dreams that are interesting enough to write down. You must be even luckier to be able to remember them well enough to write them down. Now even if you have these two prerequisites met, it is still damned unlikely that in the conventional frame of logic that they will make any manner of sense or continuity. So when one writes down any manner of dream for the purpose of entertaining others or oneself it is a rather good thing to do to point out how little damned sense it makes.

As you can tell from the two previous dreams I have written out, I do this by using these jiggies "(jiggies is apparently not a word, and I'm referring to the curved things on either end of this sentence)". Pretty much while you are writing your mind will wander off and think "This doesn't make sense" You promptly hold shift, and press 9, creating a "(" and explain any objection your mind has made, preferably in the funniest/passively dreamy way possible. When one is done writing that idea down they must promptly hold shift and press 0 creating a ")" to denote that the thought is over and the reader has every permission to laugh at how witty or clever the entire comment was.

It is in this manner that one can make even the most depressing and illogical of imaginary audio/visual hallucinations into a humorous romp through the human subconscious. It is overall a bad idea to mention any specific names of people in your dreams as they may take this as being rather creepy and avoid you for the next fortnight or so. Similarly you should not write out a dream that contains excessive inappropriate content. Under no circumstances should you write out an extremely inappropriate dream and have specific names as the people involves will probably just kill you.

Now as for creative license. When you have a dream it is to be assumed that no one else really knows what actually happened in the dream. So if you felt like a romp through dishonesty you could say you did/dreamed anything and get away with it. While no one will ever know that you did so, I generally discourage you from making things up, since this will overall result in the dream making allot more sense. Which is something to be avoided if you wish to keep up the humerus and illogical bracket appeal.

However if one wishes to have negative creative license that is alright. If you find a particular aspect of your dream to be too disturbing or too revealing of personal feeling, you may leave it out. In fact doing so is encouraged as it will just go to increase the illogicality (holey crap illogicality is a real word) of the whole thing; thus increasing the appeal.

It is also encouraged to emphasize any contradictions the dream makes. Since this will be emphasizing the hypocrisy of the mind and how it cannot make up it's mind about whether an item is blue or red, big or small or currently blown to bits or not blown to bits.

In short, no one wants to hear about your dream that made sense. Where you walked to the local McDonald ordered a cheeseburger and then woke up. Those are bland and boring. What people want to hear is how fucked up your dream was. They want purple elephants and bird people and for you to completely ignore the laws of the universe as well as any sense of continuity. If you don't have these kinds of dreams then just stick to straight fiction, or if you are a particularly boring person; you can just write boring, uneventful and uninteresting facts. Such facts as; some turtles are able to breathe through their asses. Who would find that funny?