Christmas Spam

Twas the night before Christmas
Mom and Dad were sleeping
I was wide awake,
so,I went Santa peeping.

I heard a thud
As I crept down stairs
And out of the fireplace,
flew a few white hairs.

I hid behind the recliner,
to see what Santa brought.
Suddenly, I sneezed,
And knew I was caught.

He looked my way
And then shook his head
He took my gifts,
and left Spam instead.

I ran to Santa,
dropped to my knees
I begged for forgiveness
And asked, “pretty please?”

Before turning to go
He said, “naughty boy.”
I screamed and cried
“Please just one toy!”

Then placing his finger
Inside his nose
He pulled out a booger
And up the chimney he rose.

And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,
“ If don’t want to wake up with diarrhea,
don’t eat all your Spam in one night!”