2 Minute Scoop-December 7, 2008

This week’s scoop-

This week on Meet The Press, President Elect Barack Obama warned that the economy is going to get much worse.  The combination of job losses, problems in financial markets, and the weakening of the global economy all point to even more challenging times ahead and Mr. Obama wants Americans to brace themselves for the worst.  To try and help ease the situation, President Elect Obama is looking at all options to help Americans feel better.  Among ideas he is rumored to be considering are more tax cuts for the middle class, free ice cream cones once a week, and Xanax with every bank statement.  Change is coming.

President Elect Obama also introduced his new national security team this week.  With America fighting two wars, and the spread of terrorist activity such as what was seen in Mumbai, the announcement of this team was seen as being as important as the announcement of his economic team.  Marine General Jim Jones will be the National Security Advisor, Robert Gates will stay on as Secretary of Defense, and not surprisingly Senator Hillary Clinton will be Secretary of State and White House ball breaker.  Former President Bill Clinton reportedly will play a silent role offering up Xanax to those who meet with his wife.  Change is coming.

The CEOs of three of the Nation’s automakers went before Congress again this week, to make a better case for a much needed bailout package.  In contrast to the private jets that they traveled in on their last Washington trip, the auto execs traveled by hybrid car to make a better impression.  The CEOs said they were willing to do anything necessary to convince Congressional officials that they need a bailout package to survive.  Among the proposals offered were new negotiations with the UAW, pay cuts to $1 a year, and Xanax with every auto purchase. When President Bush was asked if he too would take a pay cut to show the American people that he knew how serious the economic problems were he said he would consider it next year, but was interested in the Xanax now.  Change is coming.

The economy is so bad that a trendy New York boutique is trying to cash in on the tough times by offering complimentary soup and coffee to lure in shoppers.  The shop is appropriately called 1929, and sells high-end fashion to New York’s elite.  When customers were asked what they thought of the marketing ploy, they said it was ok but were more interested in the shop down the street called 2009.  The store was rumored to be offering free soup, coffee, and Xanax to customers.  Change is here.