Through the Haze

         We sat near the front row, my family and I, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Around us I heard some nervous conversation among the other finalists. Someone even got up the courage to tell a joke. I laughed a little, trying to keep my emotions from taking over my mind. Then a friend sitting off to the left got my attention.
"Hey man, what did you submit?" he asked
"A poem"
"Really? I sent in a couple photographs."
         Before I could continue the conversation, however, the lights dimmed and a thin man in a black suit, much like mine, walked onto the stage. Everyone went quiet at once and he waited for a moment to draw out the crowd's anxiety.
"Ladies, gentlemen, finalists, and friends," he began, flashing us all a brilliant smile. "Thank you for attending this years award ceremony for the 2006 International Teen Talent Contest."
         Polite applause accompanied the introduction. He continued, "First, we will be blessed to witness the 8 finalists in the Performance Arts category, as they perform piano, vocal, and even a bagpipe piece, for us."
He paused, and again, more polite clapping rose from the audience.
"After which the awards will be presented by category, in the following order. First, performance arts, 3-D arts, Pencil arts, then paintings, Color photography, black and white photography, and essay and poetry writing."
"The first place winner in each category will receive $200, for second place $125, and for third place $75. Fourth place will be awarded a plaque and certificate of honor."
         He turned and a light came from the ceiling to illuminate a piano behind him.
"Now let us begin!"
         The performers were introduced one after the other. One young teen messed up on his piano piece, but still managed to sound rather good. The other contestants were marvelous, but my mind had already wandered onto the monetary prizes. When I had entered I hadn't realized that this contest was for money. All along I was assuming that we would get some sort of elaborate celebration and recognition of ability. However, to me $200 is a fair bit of cash for playing the piano once, or putting some ink on paper.
         I snapped back to attention just as I saw a kilt clad boy receive a handshake and a $75 dollar check for playing the bagpipes. Next came all the art categories. Surprisingly, a girl who had entered at least one item into each category recieved three awards; first, third, and fourth. I thought to my self, Maybe I can pull in at fourth place. That would be really cool, and it would make mom ecstatic.
         After the black-suited man announced all the art categories, the photography winners were called up to the stage. I was pleased when the friend I had spoken to earlier was called in at 3rd place for his black and white photo. As he walked back to his seat I gave him my congratulations. All that was left now were the writing categories.
         One by one, the essay winners walked up and shook hands with that smiling gentleman on stage. I felt tense and nervous, almost sick to my stomach as they started to call out the poetry awards. First place was called, but the winner wasn't present. apparently the family had some car trouble and couldn't make it to the ceremony. After some brief deliberation, the judges told the audience that the award and check would be mailed to its recipient. Once that piece of drama was over, they called my name for second place, and a shock of electricity coursed through my body, nailing me to my seat.
         My mind seemed to have clouded over, and I felt like I was thinking through a fog. Did I really win, or was this a joke? I felt my sister nudge me as third and fourth place were called to take the stage. Hands from somewhere yanked me to my feet, and quite dumbly, I walked towards the little stairs. All the anxiety that had been building in me was now being released in one swift torrent. My emotions were running wild. I felt like shouting, then I felt like running. Every step that I took, right up to center stage, shook my entire body.
         I received my award, somehow, though the tremor in my hands felt like I was in an earth quake. Then I stood there awkwardly with the other two winners as pictures were taken. I could hear my pulse in my ears as loud as if there were a ten-gallon heart beating inside me. I barely acknowledged the applauding crowd and my yelling family, or felt the tears welling in my eyes. All around was a daze, a jumble of information to hectic for my mind to process.
         I looked down at the certificate in my hands with the check sitting on top of it. I focused my mind as best I could, trying to get thoughts back into my head. Then slowly, it became clear. I knew just what I wanted to be, and just what I wanted to do. Through the haze, I heard my self say, "I can do this."
         And that is when writing, for me, really started.