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Rated: 18+ · Prose · Personal · #148854
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where is the light?

I see through the dimmest of grey-clouded skies.
...so much pain.

Empty souls, aching arms, broken hearts.
That is Reality.

No?
Why are you shaking your head? Look around.

Oh, you see a "glass half full".

I say, "What glass?"

A glass is just a glass, simplicity defined.
"The Glass..." is a symbol, idiomatic,
ideopathic ... and a figment of our complex,
collective imagination.

Oh, you are smiling? Why? It's all nonsense?

Yes, in a way. I mean...a glass is Reality too,
but such a simple, small reality.
Yet, okay, you're right, I'll give you that.

Still, look around.

What do you see when you look at strangers, if
you look?
What do you see looking at me?
And you are looking at me, so. Afraid to answer?
No?
Okay, take your time. I'll wait...

Or, you can just turn away. You can leave.
Just ...

Oh, just look at me, NOW!

I KNOW WHAT HELL IS.
BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. AND THEN SOME...
SOMETIMES THE STINKING CLICHES FIT, DAMN IT!

I TRY TO PRETEND IT'S OKAY.
IT'S NOT.

It's just ...not.

Sorry, it's just that I, I sound angry when I
hurt, sometimes...or maybe I'm just angry, you know...woe is me and all that. Sometimes the past
just creeps back when you're not ready, like when
you meet someone and,well, sorry again for the,
er, outburst, I...well...the glass, kind of apt,
in a strange way.

It fell, mine... Hard.

Shattered.

Oh, I don't know how the pieces got picked up...
had a lot of help...still, they, I couldn't find
it all, you know? Those tiny pieces you just can't
see, let alone pick up.
So, some ancient Hippocratic glue and strings I found to hold onto...put her back together.
Put her back together? Well, sort of.

You're still here. I, I'm...grateful.
I mean right now...just for the fact that you
don't seem to mind.

You have a nice smile. I wish I had your eyes.
I wish I would NOT SEE SOME THINGS at times.

It hurts once in awhile, but...

Okay, I feel like damaged goods and that's what
gets to me when, well...when I see through the
dim clouds.

But I ... it, maybe gave me more compassion?
I don't know... but I want to help.

I can be THAT person. I can help...
if someone wants it, needs it.

I just wish I could do the same for,
for her...I mean me, oh you know.

I'm starting to, or trying anyway.

Anyway, it was nice to see you again.
Wish you had really been here...then again,
maybe not.


What a strange dream.
So real, but who was he?

Oh, God. Another day.
Please let me DO SOMETHING! Be someone! Let me
help someone! Myself, even. Something...
ANYTHING, Please?

Oh, God. OR...

Or, just make it night, again. Make
it all go away... just, just let me go back.


before the fall
before the fear

let me find something.
let us all find something.

i hear the pain of all the lost

and i marvel at their strength,
each crawling through their private purgatory.
survivors...


Can you hear their tears?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jesus, can you take the time
to throw a drowning man a line.
Peace on Earth"

Bono
"Peace on Earth" / U2
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