My Gift To You

                    I had no choice but to clean up the mess that I hadn't even made in the first place. I resented this newborn, looking up at me with sickeningly blue eyes and a matching smile. No, her eyes were not sickening. They were just so pretty that I felt sick, because...well, because I wanted to be that baby my family could not get enough of. Heck, I wanted to be somebody whom my family could even stand being around, at the very least. No luck there. I had to just suck it up and learn to accept my fate as the unwanted child, the person whose life- or death- meant jack shits to her family.



                    I wiped up the baby food my baby sister Serena had spilled all over the floor. I wondered what it tasted like. I tried in vain to persuade my brain to come up with a memory of me ever being fed such things as a kid. As I was was doing this, my mother walked in and discovered the accident I was supposed to have undone by now. She took whatever was nearest to her- a rolling pin this time- and gave me a good, hard whollop in the back. As I tried to mutter a hundred apologies amidst the moans of pain, my mother wrapped her arms around Serena and whisked her away, all the while saying;

"Don't let that retarded bitch scare you, sweety. It's okay, Mummy's here now, don't be scared".

I didn't get it. The child didn't even look scared.



                    I made my way upstairs and decided to do a bit of studying. I picked up my Economics text book and spent the whole afternoon reading about inflation and foreign currencies. Like anything foreign made a difference to me, I thought. I had never even been out of my home town, let alone my country. My family took a vacation to Venice once, and left me at home for a solid week with barely any food. I had run off to a friend's place and stayed there. Thank God for friends. I put down my text book and surveyed the world outside my window. I guessed it was about 8 p.m. My clock had long ago stopped working. I just liked the look if it on my bedside table. My stomach grumbled.



                    I opened my room door to be greeted with the sound of laughter and snatches of conversation coming from the dining hall. I shut my door and decided to take a shower. I was not allowed to dine with my family. I was "not worthy of the honour", something my mother likes to point out every chance she got. "Family". Hah, what a pile of bollocks. Actual families don't shun and alienate their child and sibling. I was old enough to know that much. Whatever. The icy-cold water splashed onto me as i struggled to keep myself from shivering. No matter. After five minutes of just standing under the shower, I got used to the cold. I decided to take the longest shower I had ever taken. I was in no hurry.



                    By the time I got out, it was 10 p.m. No one had called me down for dinner. That was odd, because my brother Scott always came to give me the cue when I could go downstairs and eat. Not like he cared, but my family just didn't want to have to deal with medical bills, or worse, funeral bills. I got dressed and headed downstairs. I walked into the dining hall. What i saw then almost gave me a heart attack. ALMOST.



                    There they were, Mum, Dad, Scott and Serena, all in their seats. None of them turned to look at me, however. I didn't blame them, for they were not capable of such things, because they all had various kinds of kitchen knives stuck into their torsos. After about three minutes of surveying this scene, you'd have thought I would have been overcome with grief. I felt no such thing, for some sick reason.

"Hello?" I pointlessly said. Then I heard something. A figure walked in from the kitchen. I looked up only to discover that it was my best friend, Sheril.

"Sheril...", I choked.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. You were suffering too much. I couldn't bear to see you like that. Tonight, I thought, I was going to end it for you. So I did."

"But...but Sher, what if-"

"Ssssshhh...what's done is done"



Suddenly we heard police sirens in the distance.

"Oh, damn your nosy neighbours, Shan".

I looked into Sheril's eyes, and like a mutual understanding, we both gave each other curt nods, and sped for our lives. Hopefully, I thought, to a brand new life for me...