READ THIS YANKEE FANS!

Recently, I moved away from Boston, my home for my entire life up until now.  Now, I reside in the south, which is quite depressing to a northerner such as myself.  However, there is something worse, something I miss more than simply being “northern.” 

The thing I miss most is the Yankee Glare.  If you’ve ever lived in Boston, and not just visited, you’ll know what I mean.  It’s what occurs when someone wearing a Boston Red Sox hat happens to see someone in their vicinity wearing a Yankee hat, or perhaps a Yankee shirt, teasing the Red Sox about how the Yankees don’t have to win because they already have 26 World Series Championships.  Why should they have to put in the work to win anymore?  And don’t the Red Sox have some catching up to do?  (No, they don’t.  The Yankees suck.  That’s all there is to it.) Anyways, at this time, the Red Sox fan will approach the Yankee fan, or simply stand and glare at him or her.  At some point the (ahem) idiot Yankee fan will notice this obvious insult and face his or her rival.  Then there is the glare and pull.  The first step is obvious: glaring.  The second however is best described as when one pulls the rim of one’s cap down rather coolly to prove a point.  Sometimes this event is followed with the raising of an eyebrow, as if to say, You are an idiot to support the Yankees.  Sometimes, the Red Sox fan and the Yankee fan will try to beat each other up.  More commonly however, one will say, "Excuse me sir, but I must confiscate your hat."

Here in the south, some aren't even conscious of the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox.  So, for this reason, I invite all of you Yankee fans reading this piece to comment.  Just try to glare and pull me over an email.  I promise you, I can beat whatever witty remark you have for me.  Why?  Simple: Red Sox fans always beat Yankee fans.  But I thought that was obvious.  I guess I have to spell out everything for you Yankee fans (sigh.)