Wishing

Many years ago, she used to sit under a tree and wonder...

About all the maybes, what-ifs and could haves...

Maybe things would have been different.

What if they had made it?

Could everything have worked out?

She would wonder of all the possibilities they had missed.

The revealing of feelings before it was too late.

The laughter they never shared because of anger.

The happiness that was so fleeting in such dangerous times.

And she would smile because in the end...

Everything would come to light.

All the memories would last.

All their dreams would happen.

However, even after she had come to peace with her past, all of it, she could never come to peace about him.

~*~
Many years later, she would still sit under a tree and wonder...

Where had all the time gone?

And she would laugh a hollow laugh. She had more time than most people.

Going back in time 500 years usually did that.

But then she would sober-so to speak-and wonder how time really did pass by so fast.

She could still remember a best friend's gruff tone of voice that was underlined with concern.

A child who was still innocent to the world even after all the terror he had seen.

A silent listener who hid her true strength behind the image of an innocent kitten.

A wise man who was never afraid of death or pain, but was afraid of a woman.

And a woman who had everything she loved taken from her and still learned to be strong and love.

But she found that her most vivid memories were of him. A man that was so hard to understand despite all that he did.

A man that still haunted her even after all this time...

And she would wonder...did they-especially him, it was always about him-enjoy what time they had, or still had.

~*~
Some time later, she would find herself wishing on anything she could.

For peace.

For happiness.

But especially for love

From him, only him.

And as she wished she would silently laugh to herself.

Because she knew, no matter how much she denied it.

That wishes didn't come true.

Especially to people who couldn't even be true to themselves.

And as she wished on all the stars out there and on every lucky coin she found.

She would humour herself with thinking that tomorrow would be the day he would come.

Even though she knew.

That it never was.

~*~
As she counted, she watched as everything changed.

People came and went.

Her grandfather died and her brother grew up to be the proud child she wasn't.

Nature was losing the battle with concrete and silently she mourned.

She changed, both in body and in mind.

She accepted that her dreams were just that. Dreams.

And she learned to look beyond and into the future.

The past was never coming back no matter how much she wanted it too.

And the present was always shifting so it was the future.

But she never managed to get away from him.

She never learned to look beyond him

And she eventually accepted that she never would.

~*~
Oddly enough, she never wrote a book about her adventures.

It would have been a good-if not a best- seller, she was sure of that.

Because she was being truthful to herself.

About this at least.

But she could never bring herself to tell her tale.

It seemed wrong as stupid as it sounded.

It would do them justice, to never be forgotten.

But she felt that it was not fair.

No one would remember them as accurately as she did.

And no one would ever appreciate them as much her.

Their strength.

Their wisdom.

Their friendship.

Their love.

No one could ever see them for who they were because they would become legends...faded from what they truly were.

But in the dark of night, far away, deep in her, she would admit the truth.

She didn't want to share him.

She wanted him all to herself and she wanted no one else to know he existed.

He was the reason their story was never told.

But in the morning, she would keep telling herself that it wasn't for him, but for them that she never wrote it.

And she would go back to lying to herself once again.

~*~
Near the end, she found herself reminiscing…

About everything and everyone.

She remembered the past.

Her family and friends.

Her adventures and emotions, of heartbreak and joy.

But she mostly reminisced about him.

His face.

His grace.

His skill in fighting.

But she mostly remembered how much she felt for him.

First as an enemy.

Then an acquaintance.

A friend and finally as a love.

Though it was one-sided.

And as everything drew to a close,

She smiled, a real smile, for the first time.

It had been far too long since she had done that.

And at the end, she looked back and felt a weight lift.

It may have been over, with memories fading.

But he had pushed her through the years, even without being there.

And as she went to join him, she laughed.

Maybe wishes did come true after all…