What I See

You have got to be one of the biggest liars I have ever known. The way you acted Friday night shows what kind of a person you really are. You were so forceful on Mike not coming over to check on you that it leads me to believe that you had someone there and you didn't want him to find out about it. Or you didn't want the other person to. Either way you're screwing someone over. I'm betting it was Andre who was there and you didn't want Mike to knock on the door because it would cause serious problems for you. You said in a text that you had "no kid, no man, no love". How in the world do you expect to get any love if you continue doing what you're doing? I don't understand you at all. Last night wasn't the first time that I've suspected you of lying. One week ago Thursday you said you were catching up on school work and you couldn't get on-line. You were texting me for a little while and all of a sudden it stopped. Same thing this past Thursday. My computer is broke. There's always an excuse from you. Why can't you tell me the truth? I would rather have that then some made up story. If you're going to be with someone else then say so. I'll quit texting you if you were to say that. What's this deal about "no click?" This isn't some damn movie where they meet and fall in love instantly. Some relationships take work. With your track record it shows me that you're not willing to work at anything. You solve your problems by going out and having an affair. You suck them in and when they get to close or fall in love you shit on them and tell them some big ass lie to make them feel better about themselves. Have you ever told anyone the truth? You have no loyalty to anyone. You have a husband that you've left at least once and that you've complained about calling you names and that you say will go back to being the same way as he was in a month. You're in love with two people that you can't have but you continue to hold on to the hope that one of them will change their minds. Oh, let me remind you that one of them is married and the other doesn't want to be in a relationship of any kind. I know you're not proud of the choices that you've made but you talk about them all the time. That may be good if you're talking on the Internet and you want to get laid but it's a huge turn-off for people like me that want to get to know you. But you would drop everything for either one of them and risk whatever relationship you may be having with someone else for the very slim chance of something happening. Then you have someone who completely loves and cares for you like no one else but you say he's a little crazy. So you lead him on and then break his heart. Then you have me who is just trying to get to know you and who you are and you continually lie about things. You made the comment the other day about not settling, it seems to me that you are. Especially if you end up with your ex again. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it hasn't worked before. So why would it work now? I just don't see you changing for anybody. You will only do what is good for you and everyone else can go to hell. You don't care who you hurt along the way or what the consequences will be for you or your family. You will never change. You use people for your benefit. You also talk about your "needs". If you were half a woman that some others out there were you could control those urges until you meet someone that's good for you and stop selling yourself short. Also, you are always on-line. No wonder your daughter doesn't want to go to bed. She never gets any attention from you because you are trying to get some for yourself. You come across as being very selfish to me. You're with your ex but texting me. I don't understand that. How is that fair to either one of us? You can't get on-line when he's around. Or talk on the phone. You're already starting off where you were when he moved out. Hiding stuff from him. He must be a total dip shit to think that you would ever change. He just wants to move back into the house. He's too lazy to look for someone else. Your own words about him being lazy and not taking care of things. To be honest, I don't see what Mike saw in you. He must really be crazy or you did something to him that he'll never forget. He spoke so highly of you and all I have is a very low opinion of you. I just don't see it. You'll get what you dish out. You will never be happy because you shit on too many people. Your daughter will have many different men in and out of her life while she grows up and if she turns out screwed up you'll have no one to blame but yourself. Oh, but wait, it will always be someone elses fault in your eyes. You can't be a responsible adult and slow down a little and take the time to figure things out. You jump from one to the other. And while I'm on that subject, you constantly try to pawn her off on other people. I noticed that from the beginning. Why? Because you have to be free for whoever it is that you're seeing at the time. You give her very little of your time. Maybe two hours a night. The sad thing about all of this is that she's going to grow up and be just like you. I'm sure you're a nice person and that you honestly care about some people but I believe that the "caring" wears off and you have to look somewhere else. You will never find what you're looking for because perfection doesn't exist and you are unwilling to make any changes to your character. You expect everyone to conform to your standards. You don't know how to love another person. You need to be honest with yourself about what kind of person you really are. I feel sorry for Andre and Mike. They're the ones that have had to take you're shit. I don't know much about Andre except from what you told me but I think you're using him for your benefit, too. Even if he is your husband. And Mike, I really don't know except from what I've seen and from what you've said. Out of all of this he seems like the only one who does care for you. And I'm not taking his side. You're just paranoid. He's the only one who has been there for you and then you dump on him. Save me the speech. I know your reasoning behind it. Tommy's a different story. And Frank, well, you said at first that you really liked him then you said it was just a good time. He's just using you and you'll never get anywhere. You're spinning your wheels. He's just as bad as you are. And me, I just came into the middle of this huge mess. I have to admit I was taken with you a little but I have since figured out what kind of person you really are. Even when I do leave Marie I would NEVER have anything to do with someone as screwed up as you are. You're really messed up in the head. Maybe you should seek help. Oh wait, it's everyone else that has problems, not you. Also, it surprised me at first that you said I should pray about things but it seems to me like you should be the one asking for guidance. What a hypocrite! You're a liar, cheat, adulterer, user and who knows what else. You talk crap about everyone. I don't know how you can  look at yourself in the mirror everyday. As far as I can tell you judge everyone that you come in contact with. You always bring up the fact that you see people like that in your office everyday. I guess the last one to see that something is wrong is the person that has it. I know what you're thinking, I'm just jealous that I'm not with you. Don't flatter yourself. I am so glad that I found out what a nasty, filthy, selfish whore you are before it happened to me. You may not have even read this far. If you didn't then shame on you. I wish I knew your husbands email address. I would send him all of the emails that you sent me and copies of the IMs. That's right, you can save the IMs. I bet he would be very interested to read them. Maybe it would save him from getting screwed over again. Maybe I'll send them to Mike. You probably wouldn't care about that though. It would really hurt him even more if he knew some of the things you said. I guess he would probably hate you. I don't know how you keep a job either. Ever since we started talking a month or so ago, you've been sick at least one day a week. What's up with that? Also, for someone who says she wants the "real deal" with her mate, you couldn't be farther from that result with the way you're living your life right now. I'm not a hateful person, really I'm not, but after thinking about you and the way you treat people, it makes my blood boil. I hope your feelings get hurt by someone so bad that you think about it everyday for the rest of your life. And when you do it brings tears to your eyes. Maybe then you'll wake up and see what destruction you've caused in other peoples lives. But I doubt it. People like you never change. They are miserable and will make everyone around them miserable. Always searching for that quick fix. I guess it feels good for a while but it does eventually wear off. Since we're on that subject, lets talk about Frank. You told me the other night that you had cut him off. Sounds like a bunch of crap to me. You have never cut him loose and you probably never will. I wonder if Andre and Mike know about him? Mike would probably still care for you. He's so blindly in love. But what about Andre? I bet Andre would shit himself if he knew you were sleeping with someone that worked by you. You did say that, I believe. Have lunch with him. Drinks. Dinner. Makes you feel good and knows what you like. I have that IM session saved, too. You know what I see with Mike? He probably gave you a lot of attention. Cared about you and what happened in your life. He would probably do anything in the world for you and loves you like no other but he doesn't put up with your shit. I know you said he's crazy. Maybe he is. I don't know. But you don't like it when people question you and your motives. I think Mike was smart enough to see that something was going on somewhere and you just couldn't put up with him wanting to have a "one person" relationship. I could be wrong though. He could've possibly been the "one". And then there's Andre. He didn't give you any attention and that's what led you to cheating on him. That was a decision that only you could make. Not him. You said it was a one person relationship, meaning you were the only one in it. That he wouldn't get help. But here you go again with him. You like Andre because you can keep your thumb on him and keep him under your control. He's either lazy or stupid to put up with your crap. I'm betting both. Too lazy to take up for himself and to get out and do something with his messed up life and too stupid to know the difference. He's also stupid if he thinks you're ever going to change who you are. In six months you'll be right back where you were, screwing everybody in town and blaming it on him. What a pussy! Why do women want the men who don't want them but not the ones who do? Maybe you can answer that for me.