Honesty

Why do I hate my life?

I hate my job; I hate where I live, so why do I struggle to do anything about it?

My girlfriend lives 150 miles away and I love her dearly so why do I struggle to find the motivation to look for a job near to where she lives so that we can be together?

I guess that the answer to this last question is that I am lazy. I know that I want to be with her because I love her so much. She is beautiful, fit, has a great figure and a fantastic career ahead of her. I am stuck in a dead end job trying to pass the time.

I suppose it comes with being a man. Women are far more pre-active in everything they do: work, leisure, whatever. Men have a tendency to sit back and watch the world go by.

Yes…we men complain. But why don’t we do anything about it? I guess it is because men are, in general, lazy and expect things to happen for them. Men expect things on a plate. It’s about time we understood that we can’t be handed everything on a plate and we have to work for what we want.

There…

I guess I’ve answered my own questions.

But it doesn’t make things easier. I know the answer but I still have to motivate myself and how do I do that?

An interesting question in itself.

As I mentioned…my girlfriend is young, attractive and intelligent. I would be a fool to give that up. Again. Yes, that’s right, I made mistakes before and lost her (though I was a fool for doing so and regretted it dearly). Fortunately – and for reasons that I still don’t know why – she took me back and things are great. We love each other, love being in each others company and enjoy every aspect of our relationship both physical and emotional. I won’t deny that as a guy I get a great sense of satisfaction from the physical side of the relationship but the emotional side is incredible. It is wonderful to know that there is someone there to talk to, to discuss your hopes and fears with; to confide in. I guess that that is what love is all about.

So why do I struggle to motivate myself?

I am in a relationship with the woman of my dreams: a woman, who I love with all my heart and soul; whom I would do anything for.

I guess I have to wake up and enter the real world. Like most men I am lazy when it comes to relationships and I have to work harder. If I don’t…I lose the one thing that is most important to me.

So I suppose it is true what they say…love makes the world go round. I just wish that I could find a job near to where she lives so that we can be together.

I have never felt this way for a woman before – despite being in relationships (and a marriage) before.

Love is a deep seated emotion and one we have to believe in.

I believe, though I have to improve as a person to show it to the woman I love.

I guess that the secret to any relationship is hard work and I have to wake up to the fact.

I will work harder and I will prove my love – not only to my girlfriend but to the world at large. There are changes to be made in my life and I have to accept it. If I want love to work then I have to prove I want it and I have to work damn hard to show it.

We’ll see what happens but I know there is a long way to go…