How Can I

How can I say that I love you, when my emotions are else where? How can I say to you that you mean the world to me, when in all actuality I can care less if you are alive or having an affair with death? How can I act like making love to you is the greatest high that I have ever had, when the thought of touching you makes me contemplate suicidal attempts? How can I smile, when I am sad and destruct from the damage you have created in me? How can I do all that you once wanted, when in reality I wish that I never laid eyes on you? How can I lay next to the ugliness that you call a soul, when the voices of those that I truly love hunts my mind with every sorrows that pain creates; and still with all of these unsung feelings within me, I continue to lie to myself hoping that you would change; and as days turn into nights I start to realize that the day of change will never come except the destruction of my humble soul. So, How can I continue to be your King if I let you destroy the Kingdom I had offer so that you may be my queen?