Hurtful, Enjoyable Pain

I used to hate if boyfriends dumped me.
I was always sorry for myself if I never did a thing right.
I always wanted to be so better than I was,
Now I'm wanting to just cry during the night.

I'm sorry I'll never be perfect.
That my hair will never fit in place.
I'm sorry I can't be your princess,
All wrapped up in imaginary lace.

I used to never cry so much,
But now it comes down like rain.
I used to hate to feel hurt.
Now it's my only gain.

I'm sorry that if I fall I won't promise to catch myself.
I'm sorry that it feels good when I feel pain.
I'm so sorry that I cry so much.
I'm so sorry my tears won't be seen in the rain.