Dear John

I might as well get straight to the point. I mean, it's taking a month to break up, when it should only take a minute. We dated a year and I can't stand it anymore. I never loved you. I liked you at one point but that was before we were a couple. When you stood at my door with books and vodka hidden in your coat pocket. Remember how I threw up and you stroked my back? I think I liked you then.
But now when you touch me I was to vomit. I felt trapped and I did the most fucked thing that I could do, but you know I did it for my survival, I did it because there were times I was afraid you'd kill yourself. Because there were times I was afraid you'd kill me.
I know I'm the on in the wrong here. I know. I led you on for over a year and faked orgasms and kissed you even when I actually wanted to hit you. I went places with your friends, I let you buy me dinner, I cleaned your room while you made me dinner. But I hated you the whole time. I hate you now and I don't understand why we just can't end this, just fucking end it. Just get over it, okay?
You always said the same thing to me when I told you my dad hit me. When I told you my best friend when I was five use to lift my dress up and try to grab me. When I told you anything bad that ever happened. You told me I was imature and being a baby. But if you wanted someone muture why not date someone your own age? Why date a girl 4 years younger than you?
I stayed with you because I felt sorry for you. Now i'm just sorry. About everything. So sorry I can't even tell you. I should have broken up with you a long time ago, I should have never dated you when I knew I was already over you, I should have never kissed you or let you do anything to me. And I know that, oaky, so saying things to me about doesn't make a difference.
I did what I thought I had to do. To protect you. And myself. I didn't see any other way. And I don't see anyother way now other than you never talking to me again. Never looking at me again. Never anything.
I never want to see you again.