Mr Sunshine

Mr Sunshine

The sun is blazing down on the water.  It makes the little ripples look like shiny diamonds, just for a second.  The seagulls are making that loud bird barking noise that seagulls make and the air smells like only warm weather does.  People are laughing and smiling and the general atmosphere is one of contentment.

Okay, that’s complete rubbish.  My imagination got the better of me for a moment.  Yes, the sun is blazing down on the water, but as it’s the Thames, there are no diamonds.  The seagulls are squawking at an alarming rate, and one can’t be sure if it is because they are lost and wondering where the hell Brighton is?  Or if it is because their mates, the pigeons have been kicked out of Trafalgar Square and are confusing them by flying around and landing anywhere they please.  In reality, most people are looking pretty miserable about the fact that they are at work on such a glorious day.

The Great British Summer.  All three weeks of it, if we’re lucky.  Beautiful hot sunshine Monday to Friday, then clouds and rain Saturday and Sunday.  I wouldn’t want to change it for the world; it is the not knowing that keeps us all in suspense on a daily basis.  Shoes or flip-flops, jacket or no jacket, and my personal favourite; “do you think I will need an umbrella?” because who knows?  It could be cloudless and sunny when you leave for work at stupid o’ clock in the morning, and then by lunchtime it’s absolutely tipping it down with rain.  Not cats and dogs type of rain either, but elephants and hippos!

I’m one of those really fortunate people that works in an air conditioned office.  Well, I say air conditioned, we’ve got a couple of fans plugged in, but apparently that is sufficient.  The best part of the day is at around 3pm when the sun shines directly onto you and your computer monitor and you have to start a fight with the Ikea-esque metal blinds that more often than not, beat you and leave you lying on the side of the road like a helpless puppy, panting with heat and exhaustion.  Of course being at the top of a tall building makes it all the more hot, so we switch on as many fans as we can, so the warm air we are blowing around is distributed more evenly among us.

You’ve got to love the fact that those highly intelligent and incredibly respected individuals that make up Health and Safety laws have yet to make one for how hot the temperature of a workplace can be.  It can’t be too cold though.  I mean, be careful, we wouldn’t want to have to put extra layers on to warm up!  No, instead let us make people suffer the heat, to the point where they get so drowsy they are drinking twenty cups of coffee and using a box of matches just to keep their eyes open.  Trust me, it doesn’t matter how early you go to bed the night before, if you are trapped in a sweat box all day, by the time the afternoon comes, a siesta is as welcome as finding a handful of fifty pound notes on the ground with your name written on them.

In case I sound like I’m moaning too much or am ungrateful for the warm weather……I am.  Totally, utterly and completely.  I hate the sun when I am either at work or travelling to work.  Trains, tubes and buses are not good in the hot weather, but then let’s be honest, public transport is pretty dreadful at all times of the year.  But that’s a whole other story…….

I would just like to ask all bus drivers though, is it really necessary to have the heating on when it is almost 100 degrees outside?  Is it?  No, I didn’t think so.  It’s okay for you, you don’t have to sit on the inside of the seats with hot air blowing up from the grates, suffocating you even more than you have been or will be at that place you call ‘work’.  On buses like this I can even understand the selfish bastards who sit on the outside of a double seat, leaving the inside empty.  You know who you are.

I do love the sunshine really though.  When I am lying in it, ‘lotioned’ up and reading a nice cheesy book.  Whether it be on holiday, in the garden, or on one of our own good old English beaches.  I’m not fussed.  I can lay there and cook for hours, something I will probably regret when I am older, wrinkly and look like an old leather boot.  Let’s be honest, suntan lotion isn’t going to stop the aging process, and if my skin is going brown, then clearly some of those UV rays ARE getting through the “special filters” they put in nowadays, factor 30 or not!  Never mind, I will “enjoy it while I’m young”.  My favourite elderly people saying.  However, not when I am at work, sweating profusely and staring out of the window hoping to see some element of excitement in the world below.