Shallow Abandonment

Water so deep can’t touch the ground
So far away I won’t be found
I close my eyes and float away
When will I stop? I cannot say
I cannot sleep
I’m in too deep
I’ve gone too far
Blood thick as tar
I gave up now and it’s too late
Too far now I’m past a clean slate
I’m scared; I’m hurt and full of shame
It’s my mistake I’m one to blame
I felt there was no other way
Now here I bleed on my last day
I let it get the best of me
For here I can no longer be
Glimmering lights all in my head
Is this what it’s like to be dead?
My rapid breaths begin to slow
My life, I have nothing to show
Blackened clouds begin to pour
Eyes roll back I see no more
Crystal ball says there’s no future
Wound’s too deep I cannot suture
So many lies where is the truth?
Please help me now I need a sleuth
What is it that I’ve become?
Fallen victim to this slum
Who am I but my worst foe
Mangled hands are all I know
Fit so tight around my throat
Bruises covered by my coat
Against my head I press the gun
Pull the trigger, for I am done