The Wacky Adventures of Chris and Dave 3

Chris: oh hellz yes were in the mall, G


Dave: G?



Chris: yo dawg



Dave: Chris



Chris: ya



Dave: shut the fuck up



Chris: alright



THE ADVENTURES OF CHRIS AND DAVE PART 3



Dave: well were in side the mall let go find some food



Chris: oh sweet a McDonalds I'm just dieing for a burger



Dave: umm Chris…



Chris: hmm no ones here



Dave: Chris…



Chris: where the fuck is that Mexican guy who usually takes my orders



Dave: Chris….



Chris: he talks funny hehehe Si hehehe stupid Mexicans



Dave: CHRIS!



Chris: WHAT!! Can't you see I'm waiting for someone to come take my order



Dave: no ones coming



Chris: hehehe come hehe



Dave: oh my god please just focus



Chris: I can try



Dave: alright there is no one coming to take your orders because EVERY ONE IS DEAD



Chris: what about us



Dave: well we are technically but ummm



Chris: not so smart now are you



Dave: fuck you



Chris: any who I'm hungry



Dave: let's go find the survivors



Chris: thought every one was dead Mr.McSmarty pants



Dave: I want to kill you so badly



Chris: you can't cause I'm dead remember you said so



Dave: anger rising



Chris: love you to buddy



Dave: alright look likes just find some food



Chris: now your talking



Dave: doesn't look like anyone is around here lets check up stairs



Chris: well if you insist



Dave: now if were going by movie logic here they'll be in the security room



Chris: or in like some fucked up hidden back room that is hidden by a fake wall ment to trick retards like us into thinking there's nothing behind it and we gotta crawl through the celling to get to it.



Dave: it's 2008



Chris: TO THE SECURITY ROOM!



Dave: oh shit



Chris: what?



Dave: elevators are shut off



Chris: so we can use the stairs



Dave: Chris when was the last time you lifted your feet more then 2 inches off the ground



Chris: uuummm I don't know



Dave: exactly we don't walk we shamble so stairs are our worst enemy



Chris: oh fuck me



Dave: We need to find a way up there and quickly



Chris: escalators?



Dave: I doubt their on but we can go check



-A few short moments later-



Chris: see told you



Dave: wow I don't believe it



Chris: pays off to have friends in high places



Dave: what?



Chris: what?



Dave: never mind just get on the damn thing



Chris: fuck no you first



Dave: it was your idea you first



Chris: erm… alright but I've heard these things are dangerous



Dave: just get on



Chris: alright here goes nothing



Dave: whoa



Chris: JESUS CHRIST GET ME OFF GET ME OFF GET ME OFF



Dave: I've never seen a person fall down the up escalator



Chris: IT'S THE ESCALATOR FROM HELL!



Dave: hmm…Chris there's nothing I can do your just gonna have to wait till you fall back down here



Chris: FUCK YOU DAVE, FUCK YOU AND THIS ESCALTOR



Dave: look your half way down



Chris: SWEET LORD MY LEG, MY LEG CAME OFF



Dave: god I wish I could video tape



Chris: DAVE GRAB MY LEG



Dave: do I have to?



Chris: YES!



Dave: fine



-Countless bruises and laugh later-



Chris: oh god the pain….so….much….pain



Dave: I got your leg



Chris: thank…you



Dave: alright time for round two



Chris: go to hell Dave



-Many hours, wasted on the escalator, later-



Dave: well that was harder then I though it would be



Chris: ya think!?



Dave: guess the undead just aren't ment to use escalators



Chris: no shit really?



Dave: well lets get to the security room



Chris: bout time

Dave: Well according to the mall map the security room is right over there



Chris: whoo



Dave: yep, lets get going



Chris: hold up let me reattach my legs



-Later-



Dave: well here we are the security room and….oh your joking



Chris: what?



Dave: it's locked



Chris: oh that's ok



Dave: wow your taking this pretty well



Chris: yeah maybe having my brain jumbled by an escalator changed me



Dave: well it seems to be a go-



Chris: OPEN THE MOTHER FUCKING DOOR I'M FUCKIN STARVING YOU FAGG FUCKING SONS OF A BITCHES



Dave: it was nice while it lasted



Chris: Dave we…need…something to open the door with



Dave: we could see if we could find a key



Chris: but that's gonna take forever



Dave: well then I'm outta ideas



Chris: what if we got cannon



Dave: a cannon?



Chris: yeah then we could blow the door open



Dave: where are we gonna find cannon



Chris: yeah I suppose those are kinda hard to find now days…some dynamite would work to



Dave: yes Chris because I carry dynamite with me where ever I go



Chris: dude that's awesome lets see it



Dave:….



Chris: come on dude I'm hungry wipe that dynamite out



Dave: I don't actually have dynamite you dumb fuck



Chris: god damnit Dave I've told you don't lie it confuses people



Dave: Chris shut the hell up



Chris: no seriously your always fucking with my head



Dave: it's not my fault you can't differentiate between sarcasm and normal speak



Chris: you're a sarcasm



Dave: oh lord



Chris: don't bring the lord into this he did nothing wrong



Dave: lets just find a way to open the fucking door



Chris: yes captain



Dave: well let split up and…what are you looking at



Chris: all of our friends coming in



Dave: WHAT!?



Chris: ya dud there all coming in musta figure out there was food in here



Dave: Chris you didn't close the door!?



Chris: doors can close now to, wow what will they think of next



Dave: FUCK! This is bad very, very bad



Chris: I don't see a problem here

Dave: All of them will want some of the food we find



Chris: your point



Dave: less for us



Chris: OH SHIT! we gotta get em outta here



Dave: it's to late



Chris: damn it



Dave: were just gonna have to think of a way to keep em away from our food



Chris: hehe look at those guys standing at McDonalds like the Mexican guy is gonna show up



Dave: alright as long as they don't figure out the escalator and we get to the food first we'll be fine



Chris: hehe hey wait a minute is that the…I think it is….yeah that's the Mexican hehe and he's over at burger kind…fag



Dave: ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION!?



Chris: no…I mean yes, yeah as long as they don't figure out the escalator were safe



Dave: yeah



Chris: well then your not gonna wanna look over in the direction of the escalators



Dave: how the fuck did they figure it out so fast



Chris: guess were just retarded



Dave: your retarded



Chris: no you are



Dave: what are we gonna do were gonna get like a mouth full and that's it if were lucky



Chris: wait I got an idea, Dave do you still have that dynamite on you?



Dave: I wish to stab you



Chris: we can do that later but first we need to get rid of these free loaders



Dave: alright lets think



Chris: wait I got it, IT'S MORPHIN TIME



Dave: what are you doing?



Chris: going to summon the mega zord



Dave: I don't think you fully grasp the seriousness of our situation



Chris: no I do



Dave: really?



Chris: ya Zordons gonna be pissed do you have any idea how much it costs to repair the mega zords?







Dave: god damn it Chris please stop fooling around we have a big problem about our food



Chris: I like food



Dave: ya and we like lots of food right



Chris: oh hell yes



Dave: good then lets get rid of these fuckers gonna take our food



Chris: I'm on it chief we just gotta push em down the escalator that should keep em busy for a few hours…or days



Dave: I can't believe it but that actually a good idea



Chris: I know I surprise myself sometimes



Dave: alright well here it goes



Chris: bye you free loading fucks



Dave: look at em all



Chris: oh it brings back awe full memories



Dave: ya…and hysterical ones



Chris: no, no just horrible ones



Dave: not for me



Chris: l-lets just go get the key to the security room



Dave: ya lets just hope it's no back on the first floor



Chris: oh fuck you Dave



Dave: what



Chris: you just jinx us you fucker hope your happy



Dave: you don't believe in that voodoo bullshit do you?



Chris: ahem have you seen us



Dave: were not voodoo were genuine flesh eating zombies



Chris: WERE ZOMBIES!?



Dave: yeah any retarded could have figured that out by now



Chris: I though we were vampires



Dave:…really?



Chris: naw just fuckin with ya



Dave: oh good



Chris: though we were werewolves now lets find that key



Dave: but, what, how would we be were-…oh just forget it



Chris: I got a hunch that it's gonna be over to the left



Dave: all that over there is the video game store



Chris: exactly



Dave: you just wanna go play games



Chris: yes and no, where else would the key to a door be in a mall filled with zombies beside the video game store



Dave: don't follow



Chris: have you never played a vide game?



Dave: nope



Chris: wow your gay but the key is going to be in the least likely spot but hidden in a clever way



Dave: umm ok that almost makes since



Chris: just trust me



Dave: the last time I did that we got a mall full of zombies



Chris: alright not my fault how was I suppose to know the door closed



Dave: god I hate you



Chris: common what do we have to lose



Dave: our food



Chris: true….very true but none the less lets go



Dave: fine but I swear to god if you fuck us over one more time



Chris: look the key



Dave: how….how did you



Chris: magic Dave, magic



Dave: alright no time to argue just open the door I'm so hungry



Chris: I'm the master of unlocking



Dave: now time for our long a waited….there's no one here



Chris: fuck fuck FUCK FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK!!!



Dave: hmm a note



Chris: FUCK THE NOTE I WANT BRAINS GOD DMANIT!



Dave: says they went to the military base north of town and they'll be there for five days



Chris: what's the date on the note



Dave: three days ago



Chris: fuck me up the ass



Dave: god that a long shamble



Chris: I….I think I'm gonna cry



Dave: your such a pussy, come on



Chris: where we goin?



Dave: to the military base



Chris: hot damn lets go get our fucking meal



THE END