Dearly Departed

Elizabeth died yesterday;
My wife of forty years.
On hearing she had passed away
My eyes filled up with tears.

Recalling all the years gone by
It seemed beyond belief.
I couldn’t help myself but cry,
And soaked my handkerchief.

Tears of relief ran down my face,
A ditty filled my head,
Repeating, echoing apace,
‘The wicked witch is dead.’

I’d never laughed so hard before,
Not as a man or boy.
I cackled ‘til my ribs were sore
I whooped and wept for joy.

I shall not mourn her passing now,
Nor in the coming days.
The woman was an evil cow,
Cruel in so many ways.

Four decades long she criticised
And carped relentlessly.
Somehow I never realised
She choked the life from me.

She bullied and tormented me,
Denied my every dream,
And laboured systematically
To crush my self-esteem.

She poked and prodded every place
And kept my spirits low,
Depriving me of time and space
And any place to go.

So farewell then, my darling wife,
I truly wish you well.
Enjoy your hard-earned afterlife
In agony in hell.