It Mattered To Her

It Mattered To Her

          It was early in the evening on Saturday. They had made plans for the occasion quite some time ago. Her brother was due to arrive any minute. She had not seen him for a long, long time. He's lived far away from her hometown for many years. He called her up about a month ago and he asked to sit down with her over a nice, relaxing dinner. They had alot of catching up to do. Nerves were beginning to take effect, because she had changed so much since their last visit. She'd always been the black sheep of the family. No matter what she endured or how much she had changed over the years, she still wound up always being the butt end of their jokes.

          She grabbed her purse and stepped out onto the porch. She was excited. Didn't want to keep him waiting as punctuality was a must. She stood on one foot then the other, waiting for what seemed like ages. Meanwhile, she listened as the crickets chirped and the frogs croaked down by the banks of the river. Eventually, she managed to make her seat on the front steps. She leaned up against the rail watching the stars glisten and glow up above. Smiling as she sent a thank-you prayer drifting off into the heavens for the one who must have been watching over her. A sense of pleasure and well being draped itself gracefully upon her burdened shoulders.

          She closed her eyes peacefully as she drifted away to dream. Her mind pondering the redemption she needed to move on with her life. Awaiting that one solitary moment in time, to snatch her ghost of a chance in an attempt to define herself once and for all. Then, suddenly she was rudely awakened by the sound of the phone, ringing. It was her brother. For the life of her she couldn't understand why he was calling, when he was supposed to already be there. She looked up at the clock then questioned him, "You were supposed to be here four hours ago?" She waited to hear what he had to say. It seemed, that he had been overwhelmingly busy as of late and forgotten about their plans, altogether. There was a slight giggle in the background that fired a warning signal of a female endeavor. He followed saying, "I'll make it up to you, I promise!" as he hung up, anxiously returning to what they were doing. Then came the deafening moment of silence on the line just before she hung the phone back on it's receiver. The only thought dancing the halls of her mind now, was that he had just done it again.

          All the while growing up, he was the popular one. People would call all hours of the night. They would come by and visit him. Together, they would go out to eat or go down to the court and shoot some hoops. Constantly in and out of her life, day in and day out. She recalled begging him to let her come along, yet she would be left standing there in the hallway staring at the door. The very door that he had just closed on the conversation and worst of all between the two of them, leaving a hole forever sinking deeper into her heart. She couldn't believe after all these years, that he's still doing it. He continues to diminish the roots to her person to a point just barely shy of extinction.

          Standing there in the silence, a single trail of tears enveloped her eyes. Her purse dropped to the floor without any acknowledgement. The mirror on the wall in front of her showed the mascara trailing upon her face, swelling evenly with the river rushing through her heart, flowing of staggering emotions. She gazed into the mirror for the better part of an hour trying to gather herself. While waiting for her pride to pick her up, the faces began to appear before her.

          First, there was an angel with broken wings taken to her knees begging for mercy from God to release her from the pain. The second face to appear, came to be a dirty ol' clown with bloodshot eyes and devilish laughter with whiskey wreaking from his breath. Third came a warrior with her painted on expressions of battles lost and victories she had won. The very last face to show, was a beautiful stranger with a soft smokey voice, stern and strong. She was dressed in an array of confidence and her eyes were glazed over with dignity. I reached out, taking her hand in peace but when I turned loose and walked away.... she followed me.