Buy some cookies

I had just finished my shopping for the week, guaranteeing my survival in basic needs until the next Saturday.  Today was a particularly good day; for I had just found a bargain book store a few blocks away.  I did not find it, so much as entered it for the first time since I saw it months ago.  I was amazed at the prices they were selling books at and had purchased over $40s in books for just a little over $17, to my delight, before heading into Wal-Mart.  There I found a huge pack of X brand cheese cracker sandwiches for a cheap price as well as a sale in chocolate.  Feeling very pleased, I nodded to the cash register woman after paying, and proceeded to the automatic sliding doors. 
There are three entrances into the store, each one further away from my bus stop, and I just happened to check out next to the furthest one.  It was no big deal to me, I always loved walking, and there were fewer crowds and slow old people outside those doors than in.  If I had known the horror that was to befall me, I would have braved even a rock concert with my cart, just to go the next automatic door down.
Upon exiting, I almost ran into two sweet looking girls of five years old.  They were quite short (up to my hip), both blond, and, to my growing horror, both in girl scout uniforms.
“Buy some cookies!” they shouted, in offset unison, at me.  Before I could get a word in, they repeated the same phrase over and over, pointing and dancing next to a table in only what one could describe as a “satanic ritual to summon demons of pain and agony upon thee.”  At the table filled with said cookie boxes, a tired mother, or guardian of the “girls,” could only look upon me with pity.  She had already been caught, and, I might hypothesize, drained of energy from the children to fuel their energy, like a leech might with blood of its unwilling host.
I feared I was going to die if I didn’t make a decision soon.  I could try and reason with the beasts, tell them I had no desire to buy the cookies and hope to any god out there that they don’t tear me to shreds with their claws and glowing evil red eyes.  Or worst, look sad and cry. 
Running was out of the option.  They would take me down like a pack of starving lions hunting a gazelle weighed down with shopping supplies.  It would be over in seconds.  As the lead lion lands on the gazelle’s back, breaking the spin, it can only quiver with defeated dead eyes as the lions draw near with teeth bared, and shout “Buy some cookies!”
Walking almost zombie like, I went to the table and glanced at their choices of cookies.  The mother, looking at me as if to say “pick your poison,” waited for a pause in the chanting before asking what I would like with a wide fake smile.  The girls look on.
“The thin mints please.”  It was the only type I could trust myself not to eat.  God knows what poisons or addictive drugs they slip into those sugary delights to kill or force repetitive buys from the customers.
“Good choice!  That will be $3.50.”
I cringe at the though of spending that much money on such a tiny box.  In the store I just left, I could buy two-and-a-half boxes of good-brand chocolate chips three times the size of it.  I hand over a five and await my change.
“They’re very energetic,” I said making small talk, gesturing to the girls who were still watching in rapt silence.
“Oh, yes!” the woman laughed, probably glad the girls have left her alone for a few moments while they had their attention on me.
“Buy some more!”  One of them said, her high pitch voice sounding very dark and scratchy.
“We have two new flavors,” the other echoed, “peanut butter chocolate and YOUR VERY SOUL.”
“Uh…  No thanks!  I don’t want to get fat!”
One of the girls grabbed a box of thin mints and then shoved them into my bag filled with books before I can even blink. 
“Thank you and come again!” she says, her voice once again belonging to a cute five year old.
I rushed as fast as I could to the bus stop.  I could only hear my rapid heart beat and the voices of the girls as they stopped an elderly woman who only wanted to buy some frozen bagels. 
“Buy some cookies!”
I think I will give the box to my sister…