I Live in a Box

         My life is in a box -- a small box.  And this is good.

         I live in a small town of under 4000 souls.  I live one and a half miles in one direction from my place of work.  I live one and a half miles in the opposite direction from my church.  A major grocery store and my bank lie within a mile in the third direction.  Of course, this being Missouri, there is always some place you can't get to from here.  Thus, nothing is available to me on the fourth point of the compass.

         I have no complaints for this is where I choose to live.  Truth be told, I haven't the patience for living in a large city.

         One, I don't like shopping.  I consider shopping a necessary evil.  Clothes are bought only when the ones I currently have finally fall apart.  And yeah, I know I need to eat.  But that doesn't mean I enjoy pushing the cart around and standing in line.  I work on my feet all day long without any physical problems.  Yet following my wife around Wal-Mart for just an hour leaves my back sore and my mind scrambled.

         Christmas shopping?  Yes, I do that, but only on Christmas Eve.  My personal best is 2 hours, 21 minutes, start to finish.  And that includes standing in the very long checkout lines with all the other guys.  (C'mon, you know no women wait until the last minute, right?)

         Two, I don't like traffic.  Does anyone drive as well as me?  I haven't found that person yet.  Now there's a fair number of inept drivers in my small town. But, consider a population base 20 or 50 times more than my community.  That many lousy drivers can't be good!  OK, OK, I admit, not everyone is a bad driver.  Most are safe and cautious while behind the wheel.  But, statistically speaking, there has to be more bad ones in the large city than my small town.

         I lived in a large city on the East coast for six years.  Fifty-five minutes to go six miles was never my idea of fun.  That was on a good day, and that was for a job I liked.  Guess I'm just a laid-back kind of guy.  Hustle and bustle are not my middle name.  Hell, maybe I won't even show up for my funeral.

         And three, crime.  Statistics aside, our little town is pretty safe.  We have crime, and occasionally something serious rears its ugly head.  But, it's the exception rather then the rule in everyday life.

         Yes, it would be nice to have a few more choices of dining establishments than the ever-present McDonald's or Wendy's (which I like).  And, we have other restaurants in our town -- some very good ones.  We have our favorites, too.  But after 17 years in the same place, it would be nice for something different.

         You see, my friends, I'm not (too) naive.  I understand why people live in cities, and I can see the allure of these pillars of humanity.  From time to time, I enjoy visiting and sampling the diversity only available in a large city.

         But, I wouldn't want to live there!


Note:  The views listed above should only be construed as the somewhat coherent ramblings of one opinionated individual -- ME!

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