Too Early

"Why are you sick?"

Elijah looked into the sad eyes of his little sister and sighed. Sitting in the hospital room chair close to his bed she looked tiny. The past few years had been very hard on them all. His family had to endure so much and he knew it was his fault.

He had to choose his words carefully. "I did some not good things." Pushing up against the crunching white sheets, he winced as he tried to sit up a little more. The IV strung across his bed barely moved during his attempt.

"What things?"

She was too young for him to tell her the whole truth. He had to find a different way to answer. After a few minutes of silent thought, Elijah found something to say. "Do you remember when I was gone for a long time a few years ago?" After she nodded, he continued. "Well, during that time I did some bad things, ones that go against God's good will."

"Ohhh. But can't you ask God to forgive you?"

"I ask for his forgiveness every day."

"Will he ever forgive you and make you not sick?"

"Not exactly. He forgives me for my sins but I still have to face the consequences. I just have to hope that the life after this will be better because I pray for forgiveness."

The sound of high pitched crying made them stop. Their parents were out in the hallway having a discussion with the doctor. It seemed the doctor didn't want to tell Elijah himself the bad news but he already knew. He could feel it.

After the crying died down, Tessa spoke first. "Are you going to die?"

He wanted to say no, to protect her but he knew it wouldn't do any good. "I might, but everyone does at some time or another."

"I don't want you to die." She leaped from the chair and onto his bed, wrapping her arms around his neck. She was the only one that would get close to him anymore. They knew he wasn't contagious but that didn't stop them from being afraid. It came with the disease; that and a very weak immune system.

"I don't want to die either. But I can't stop it from happening." He had to hold back the tears. "I'm so sorry to put you through all this."

She didn't respond to his apology. Instead she looked him in the eyes, "Will you come back and visit me after you go to Heaven?"

"You think they will let me in Heaven?"

"Don't be silly, they will let you in and you will be the prettiest angel there." She kept her arms around him.

"Thanks. Then, yes, I will visit you whenever I can."

"I want you to be my guardian angel."

He kissed the top of her head. "I'll see what I can do about that when I get there."