Rapid Adventure

A Rapid Adventure
A Story by Kuntry

Me and Ole Bruce at it again

The raging rapids were approaching fast. Bruce and I braced ourselves for what would happen next? Our small vessel rocked back and fourth like a ship in a hurricane. This small vessel now controlled us. Avoiding the massive rocks jutting from the river was no simple task..We had the upper hand. We had ridden this same ride many times over our 12 years on this earth. But this day seemed different in some strange way.Just had a gut feeling that only one of us would be having supper with Mom tonight?

It's funny how in an instant a simple feeling can become a reality.. Because at that very moment Bruce and I were nearly be-headed while being close lined by a sewer pipe that the city had so kindly placed across OUR river..

We tumbled end over end in the swift raging current. Despairingly trying to grab hold of anything that could save us?We watched as our overturned vessel passed us by in it's own journey to the unknown. The gut feeling I had earlier kept flashing through my mind.. Then I heard it... It was a southern voice....It was coming from above us..I will never forget the words spoken that day.........

"HEY Y'ALL, MOMMA SAID GET YOUR BUTTS HOME..Y'ALL AIN'T SUPPOSE TO BE OUT HERE AFTER DARK.".."BRUCE NEEDS TO GO HOME, HIS MOM SAID HE CAN'T STAY FOR SUPPER TONIGHT!"

Bruce and I stood up. The river still raged around our knees....And as quickly as our journey had began, It was over.........



"Now y'all probably think that this story has ended?.. True! I could end it here and just leave ya hanging?.. But what fun would that be? Maybe We would both be a little less confused at this point if I just started over from the git go?....Hell! I got the time to write it if you got the time to read it?..Deal?.. DEAL!

Folks, Cain Creek was more of a ditch in places than a creek.. It was built by the city I grew up in. To give you a picture. The parts of this ditch than ran through the city was lined with these big Grey rocks. Once you got away from the city it turned into your basic muddy snake infested swimming hole.. There was a part of this creek that ran back behind my house...Here in the south we have some really weird weather at times. We go through a spell every year where it will rain for a couple hours every afternoon. Then the sun comes back out and it's just as pretty as can be again. Usually after this happens that little ditch becomes a raging mini river, it's only a couple of feet deep so one usually ends up with a bruise or two when playing in said river..(I KNOW IT'S BORING. JUST BARE WITH ME!). Well, Ole Bruce and Me came up with a plan to make our river a wee bit deeper. Thus making it safer on the knees..We decided to dam it up on hot summer day...



"HEY BRUCE? PASS ME OVER ANOTHER PIECE OF THAT WOOD." "Dude your Dad's gonna be pissed when he finds out we stole all his good lumber" "HELL! WE'LL WORRY ABOUT ALL THAT LATER. HAND ME SOME MORE NAILS."

We stood back and admired our handywork...We had decided to construct our dam by taking some plywood and stopping up the drain pipe that ran under the street about a block away.. The plan was that after our river filled up to our satisfaction. We would snatch away our dam and just ride the current that we had created....

Now this was a pretty good plan, Well as plans go?. It was simple, yet workable? And my Daddy always said you could do anything you wanted as long as you had a good plan...Right?..

Our next little project was building our vessel... We chose to take two tire tubes and strap a small piece of plywood to them using my Dads new anchor rope..(The old one had been destroyed in a previous adventure.)

Now Bruce and I was finally all set up. All we needed now was the rain..

"HEY BRUCE YA KNOW A GOOD RAIN DANCE?".."Nope!".. "WHAT IF IT DON'T RAIN TODAY?".."Dude. It rains everyday.. I'm hungry!"

Bruce was always hungry...

Finally the rain came that day.. It came in sheets.. Our river swelled to beyond our wildest dream..Bruce and I launched our hand made craft. We waited patiently for my younger brother to go and break the dam......

"IT'S TO HARD! I CAN'T BUDGE IT!"...."#@!@G D Little brothers! I reckon if ya won't something right ya better off doing it ya damn self?. Hey Bruce, Come Help me."

We all three yanked and we pulled, we yanked and we pulled some more when finally our dam broke free.. Water started flowing through that pipe like a whirl pool in a toilet bowl. We ran as fast as our legs allowed to get back to our vessel.

We were off... The adventure to beat all adventures had begun..We passed the neighbors house like a rocket. We were steady gaining speed. I'll admit, we was going a wee bit faster than I think either one of us had anticipated..

"HEY BRUCE!".."What?".."HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO STOP?".."Oops!"

Yes folks, there were a few flaws in our plan that we may have overlooked in our hast for adventure..If I am recalling correctly? Breaks wasn't even on the list.......

Now we both knew that that pipe was coming up pretty damn fast.. Riding the Death Chute certainly wasn't in the plan.Bruce said lets jump and I agreed. But only problem was we were hauling ass by now and we both were afraid to jump...NO PROBLEM!

We had also forgotten all about the big water pipe that ran across the ditch just past the next curve. See, we didn't have to jump after all.. The pipe did it for us.. Now that I think back it was really rather funny the way Bruce just kinda hung there on that pipe for a brief moment before plunging into the depths of hell.. Yep! all two feet of it.

Now I'll be the first to admit that safety wasn't never much of a concern with me and Bruce.. We never really thought about the could of's or the would of's until way after the fact. Sure, our river may have only been a couple of feet deep. But the current that we had created made it really hard to get your footing. So we both tumbled and slid along that rocky bottom gathering a few bumps and bruises along the way. But isn't that what makes it an adventure to begin with?

Y'all think about that for a bit.. Don't forget to wear ya Smiles....Kuntry.

P.S. Y'all don't let me forget to tell ya about the time we damed up that pipe and flooded the whole neighborhood....I think the statue of limitations may have run out by now?

Tags: kuntry, funny