Sexual Abuse Partner Intimacy Issues

Sexual Abuse Partner Intimacy Issues

Like the proverbial elephant in the living room, partner intimacy issues with a sexual abuse survivor can require a lot of time and space.  Fortunately, in the end, with hard work and dedication, a beautiful relationship can be the result!

When you have been sexually abused, intimacy is usually foreign to you and partner intimacy issues will probably erupt if and when you decide to proceed into a relationship.

You obviously can live alone, with your cats, and avoid intimacy issues altogether.  That certainly is a choice, but can be a lonely one with no self growth involved.  You  also might never have the opportunity to feel the company of a warm and loving partner.  However, people are meant to be social and you just might find yourself talking to yourself, talking to your cats, and answering yourself back!  Well, if that happens, you need to run, not walk, to the nearest therapist!

Your abuser stole your ability to develop intimacy away from you when he or she betrayed your trust.  You have to regain trust in order to develop intimacy.  Scary, yes, but definitely possible!

The key to the development of a long lasting healthy intimate relationship is time.  Time for the trust to build.  Your partner needs to be a patient soul.
Sometimes that may be difficult to find, but believe me, there are good people out there, so don't give up yet!

You are worth loving and cherishing!  Someone will see that, but you have to see it in yourself first!

If you are in a relationship, it is good for your partner to know the following things:

Intimacy issues include you too!!  It takes two people to make a relationship.

You need to give the sexual abuse survivor time to trust you.  Just because you have not given her any reason not to trust you doesn't mean that she will automatically trust you!  No, it is not fair!  Yes, you are getting the brundt of her fears from her abuse.

It truly is not personal.  I know that is difficult and you may not like or understand it..but it is what it is.  You care about your partner.  She is lucky for that.  You both have something strong to build on.  Bless you for caring!

Allow your partner as much control in the relationship as possible.  Make it a 50/50 partnership.  Open communication is essential!
Talk about everything.  Don't assume anything!  You have NO IDEA what eachother is thinking!  Neither of you are mind readers.  If you were, you would make a ton of money and you could both quit your jobs!

Abandonment can be a huge issue!  Make sure you call her if you are going to be late, no excuses!  Don't spend large amounts of time on the computer, reading, watching TV, without her etc., get my point?  She may perceive this as abandonment.



For more on abandonment issues, anger, sexual issues, support and control issues related to partner intimacy issues in sexual abuse survivor recovery, go to:
{Linkhttp://www.soul-expressions-abuse-recovery.com}  For self care products for the female survivor, go to: {Linkhttp://www.soul-expressions-abuse-recovery.com/soul-store.html}