Dedicated to my grandmother-with understanding and forgiveness |
The men in your family What did you think of men when your father left this world for fear of shame and failure and you, your sisters, in bows and dresses your mother could no longer provide. What did you think of men when your sister, the most loved one, with long red hair and a love for art lay bleeding after her last child, both of them soon to leave this world, the doctor to blame. What did you think of men when your husband came home late, well after the hour the shop closed, excuses and perfume still lingering on the laundry you had to wash. What did you think of men when your daughter’s husband took her across the country to escape you only to have her run home years later with a dog and a suitcase, escaping him. What did you think of men, when your daughter’s new husband didn’t see the signs, didn’t listen to warnings his own son was seeking solace in an end all too permanent and severe, and succeeded. What did you think of men, when my mother said she was leaving, my father was never home, in mind if not in body, and you wondered who was the other woman. There was no other woman, only passive neglect. When I told you we were having a son, I remember your first words to me, for they ring in my husbands ears when he hears your name You said, “I just don’t know if I could love a boy” At least you were being honest. |