Some perspectives don't change much...

Even after becoming a father, I still see some things the same as I've seen them for a long time now. Along this thread of thought, I absolutely despise it when a person brings their child to a restaurant at which I am eating and refuses to 'control' (and by 'control' I mean contain some sense of order and silence with their child) their child. Some parents ignore their screaming kid, and continue eating. To parents like this, I ask: when the FUCK did your ears clog or fall OFF? Your child is clearly screaming and has no desire to be silent or eat; do something about it! For Goddess' sake, it's a child, moreover, it's yours, and is not an accessory! Your child should not become an 'inconvenience' to you; sure they can be inconvenient in how they affect your life, but don't treat your kid as though they are the problem! Maybe your child is not yet ready for restaurant eating, or perhaps your disciplinary method which may work quite well inside the house, they have found, falls flat on its face outside of the house. It is time to evaluate. Also, perhaps your child is tired, bored or simply disinterested in how "This person went to this-and-that" or "How this Aunt/Uncle does this". Kids are self-centered; it's in their nature at this stage. We need to teach them to think of other people, and at a young age.
Some people have looked to me as though I would now be more understanding of people whose children act out in stores in restaurants, but I do not. When my son acts out in a store, the method I've found most effective is to remove his audience. If he is throwing himself on the ground, I turn my back on him. If he gets too rowdy, I leave the store, but not after trying to discipline him. This worked quite well the last time I went to Borders; I just merely had to explain to passerby to ignore him, that he wanted their attention. After two minutes of him crying on the floor, he stopped. I scooped him up, held him and when he started up crying again, was when we left. It was considerate of his need for discipline, and others' need for peace and quiet while they browse for books. I wish more parents would be as considerate to me.

Another thing: what in the Nine Hells is your kid doing at a PG-13 movie? I would like to know. The damned movie says right in the descriptor that it's PG-13 for "Scary Moments, Violence" and other stuff, so what the FUCK? Why is your kid kicking my chair and my head and pouring Gods-knows-how-much-popcorn down my front? I would be trying to go on a date; you know, because I could find someone to watch my son. Just had to see the new movie? Jeez, your kids'd profit more by Disney any day. It's stuff like that that makes me want to smack my head against a wall. It's just inconsiderate and bullshit that people just dump their kids in the middle of adult entertainment.

In this same vein of people dumping their lack of parenting and/or consideration in my lap, I also point the finger firmly at parents if they don't like what media their kids intake. When the hell did I tie your kid down and force him/her to watch hours of violent films, porn or degrading humor? Wouldn't you be the parent? Shouldn't you be informed for your child's sake about what is out there, the technologies involved and how to limit access to things you don't want your kids playing with or seeing. A rule of thumb here is, if you don't know what it is, what it does or how to use it yourself, do one of two things 1) Find someone knowledgeable (i.e. about computers) and have them teach you or coach you. 2) Take courses or find documentation that will teach you about or how to do whatever it is your child wants to play/see/do. 3) Do the activity with your child. If it's videogames, play the game prior to buying it. If it's a movie, watch it first before letting them.

Many people say we live in a sexualized world, but I say, not really. We live in a sexually repressed world, one that as people choke off the understanding of our sexual nature as part of nature and the animal kingdom, becomes harder to maintain a balance in. A sexualized world embraces sexuality in all its flavors; our world right now by and large sees one type of sexuality and sexual relationship as correct: monogomous marriage. I think that much of porn, erotica, cyberplay and the 'excesses' are the collective sexual needs of people pent-up from years of denying themselves the deep needs that they might have. I could be wrong. However, it seems the more a person's sexuality is repressed, the bigger the bang is when they are finally allowed to express that sexuality. I've seen this in Catholics, who, finally out from under their parent's and parish's shadow, begin to screw anything in reach. I've seen this in my gay friends who were able to fully embrace their homosexual nature without the stigmas our high school society put on them.

One way of avoiding this huge explosion or backlash, is by being understanding of the fact that your son/daughter can become a sexual being anywhere from 6 onward. Many children begin to develop an understanding of sexuality before age 6; what you teach them now affects them their whole life through. After age 6, according to the Kids Growth site they begin to really sexually experiment. You want your kid to be informed? You want your kid to grow up healthy? Part of their life is sex, and an informed parent is much better equipped than an uninformed one.

When your son/daughter becomes interested in the opposite/same sex and is looking for porn, and if you are comfortable with doing so, for Goddess' sake screen it! I know this sounds bizarre, but if you feel that the feminine is sacred in all its forms, would you rather your son/daughter view porn which by and large degrades women or would you rather they watch porn that confirms the sacred in them, and confers positive body messages and spiritual messages concerning sexuality?

What does this have to do with anything? It's just how I look at child-raising, and at how parents can and should take a larger role in their child's life. I waited at the very least, until age 18, to have sex with someone I love. It was with protection, it was not under pressure and although I completely sucked at it, I enjoyed myself and it was a bonding, loving thing; lovemaking. If you want your child to know the difference between sex and lovemaking you, the parent must teach them. Unplug the T.V., turn off the DVD player, and every other damned noisebox, and have a long, in-depth conversation with your child. I know, years later, I'm appreciative of the talks my parents gave me.

In much the same way, I feel parents of my generation need to rise up to our chosen charge: the wellbeing of our children. I do not feel we as people should, or can exist the way we do now. We need to teach our children, not do all things for them. We need to give them the tools of survival, and they are many, but I feel my generation is up to the task. We just need to set aside all of our collective distractions, and knuckle down to the serious business, to that beautiful calling, to the task or whatever other euphemism you need, to understand that these children are OURS and THEIR OWN and that we need to raise them as such. They are not US, they are TO BE. We need not to treat them as little people, but children, who have needs that we must cater to, and wants that we can choose to cater to. But we, the next generation, need to become serious and raise our children with love, kindness, support, mindfullness, spirit and hope. They are what is to come; let's do right by them.

That's all for now.