Chapter 8

So, after that little incident, you would think I'd break up with David, wouldn't you? I wish I would have. I should have just called it all off right then and there. But I still felt so much for him. I still loved him so much after all that. Why? I have no idea. I think it was his smile. When he smiled, he lit up the world. It was so big and pretty.
David never called me or came to see me when I was home that week, though. I don't know why. I tried to call him a bunch of times, but he was never home. He still went to school, though. Jebbie would come over and bring my homework and give me an update on David. She couldn't believe how normal acting he was knowing what he did to me. I told her it was no big deal, it was just an accident. I don't still believe that, though. If it was an accident, he wouldn't have beaten me.

At least I didn't have to go to school with the bandages on my arm. That weekend I went back to hospital for a check up and the stitches were ready to come out. I just had scars all over my arm. And my other arm still had some faded bruises on it. My face was back to normal, though. I wore long sleeve shirts to school everyday after that. I felt so ashamed of myself. I felt weak inside. I wanted to run and hide from the world - from my problems. I wished it would all just go away, but of course those type of wishes can never come true, to my disappointment.

I learned you can't change your past, but you can prevent your future. Meaning, I couldn't change that David beat me up once, but I could stop it from happening again. Although when I was 16, I was a young and stupid 16. I didn't try to do anything to prevent David from hurting me again. I didn't tell anyone. Jebbie knew, but she didn't tell anyone either. I still don't know why. I think she felt the fear too. She was afraid if she told someone, David would beat her up as well. We never really talked about that, but we both knew it was true. He was sick like that.