Barren

She brought with her the cool of the night. Prayers as rain fell from her lips and tumbled out of her mouth, and she spoke thus:

Ah, my God, my King, would that I were able to hide in your wings. Would that I were able to partake in this grand adventure- to know what it is that rest on your heart. Ah, King- my flesh has failed me and I am weak. Succumbed to lust, greed- all of those futile venoms that only poison the perfect peace you envision for me. And how marred I am! How much so have I scarred this temple, over and over, through the seductive lure of momentary satisfaction. Peace, peace- but there is no peace.

Save me, oh my Righteous God- for the water have swallowed me up. These enemies of condemnation, doubt, disbelief, dissatisfaction, accusation have pursued me till I am cowered in a corner, defenseless in my feeble humanity. Crouched in my own condemnation I cannot look to the day. I am floored at the exhaustion of considering yet one more demand. Spent, I cannot lift my eyes . Past the point of desire I cannot even call on your name. Ashamed, am I, for I long for you. I have known you well. You have healed me, brought me past the swamps and mire and into your glorious light and oh-

Oh-

Fetal my soul. Dear Jesus- snatch me away, for I cannot rise anew. Alone, forsaken, defenseless- yet hear my groaning, oh my Righteous GOD! Words I have not as I retch at my solitary complacency. Would that I could beg for you, plead for deliverance, for I know at Whom the darkness trembles. Yet deluded by distractions I have become dead to my Lover. I Long to arouse you to deliver me, yet shattered I cannot gather even the discipline to seek you, beg your Name to rescue me. Incomplete I crumble without you, as a tree rotted, its fruit a stench.
Now there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.