Description of what it is like for me to live with an autistic disorder. |
In the Corner So many faces and voices surround me, As I wander lost through the party. Everyone else is smiling but I feel nothing, Like a shadow drifting through the mist. Occasionally someone stops to say hello But I do not wish to speak. So there in the corner of the room I sit, Arms wrapped around me tight, Trying to block everyone out. I do not mean to be rude, But everywhere I look, the walls seems to be closing in on me. I shake as breathless words escape my lips. "I will make it through this", I murmur to myself. Closing my eyes, I think of my "safety zone", A place where my thoughts can wander endlessly. There I sit, slowly unwinding, for some time, Willing myself to be calm and composed. This reaction is not unusual for me. Large groups or loud noises often cause panic attacks, Making me feel as if I'm being smothered. Sudden changes send me into breakdown mode And I quickly run to somewhere isolated, Where I can sift through my emotions. You may not understand, not many do. It may confuse or even anger you at times. Please believe, I do not mean to upset you But this is something beyond my control. These "overreactions" are a way of surviving, For a teenage girl with Asperger's syndrome. |