Not Always and For Never

I am writing this non-fictional story. It's about a girl that had a life, and lost everything. Classical right? Not exactly. You see, since it's real, it's emotional, especially for me. Because I'm the girl it happened to.
It's hard to begin something, feeling afraid to break down a wall that divides you from something so great. Melissa is a 17 year old girl, living in a small town. She has few friends, and attends Sandusky High school as a Sophomore. She felt lonely in her own world until Michael came along. Michael is a freshman, smart, intrigueing, clever, and little does Melissa know yet, he's ignorant and has a beating heart in his ego.
Michael: Hey, Melissa right? I'm Michael, a friend of Megan Donley's, I've heard about you. It's nice to finally meet you.
Melissa: Yeah, Thanks, I've heard about you too, not a whole lot, but it's great to meet you.
Michael: So You're a Sophomore, right?
Melissa: Yeah, It's not easy, but it's only what.. the end of the first semester?
Michael: Yeah, well we still have time to get to know each other. I think it'll be great to get to know you through being friends.
Melissa: Of course, sounds great.
Megan: Hey guys, I see you've introduced yourselves to each other already. Outgoing and all, I think you too will get along great! I think high school will be exciting.
Melissa: Watch what you say Meg, you might reconsider your excitement in a year, it's not as fun as it may look like.
Megan: Alright, I hear ya. Let's have a party this weekend, it'll be so much fun. Mike you can come too!
Michael: Thanks Megan, I'll be happy to be there.
Megan: See Melissa, you just gotta take life by the hooves and party!!!
Melissa: Yeah, I'm not such a party horse, but I'll be there :)
Megan: Ok, See you later.
Michael: Bye Megan, Catch up with you later Melissa
Melissa: Bye, Michael
The party
Megan: So everyone, lets gather for a picture, then we'll hang out in the trailor, watch a movie and eat some burgers later.
(everyone gathers.. Michael walks over to Melissa, stands next to her)
Michael: whispers- I hate getting my picture taken.
Melissa: (looks up at Mike) Me too :)
(later in the trailor)
Jason: Hey, Melissa, whats up with you and Michael, Megan tells me you too are friends now.
Melissa: Jason, Shut up, he's right outside... don't talk to loud.
Jason: What? You dig him or something?
Melissa: Maybe.
Jason: (looks at Melissa with a look as if she's in denial)
Melissa: Ok, yes a little.
Jason: So go for him, ask him out!
Melissa: I can't
Jason: Why not?
Melissa: Because everytime I ask a guy out, he turns me down or says "I don't see you as any more than a friend"
Jason: I know Mike, he's different, cooler than the other guys you've crushed on. C'mon, just once.
Melissa: Maybe okay, but I'm not making any promises.
(Mike walks into the trailor, sits next to melissa)
Michael: Hey Melissa whats up?
Melissa: (looks at Jason who smiles and shrugs his head) Not much, I'm getting kinda hungry, but I'm good thanks. How has your week been?
Michael: Great, I met a new friend, she's pretty cool.
Melissa: Oh fun, I hope I don't get pushed away or nothing. I don't want to get in the way of you having fun with a new friend. (Melissa smiles)
Michael: I have a feeling you'll be around for a while.
Melissa: Nice, I hope I stick around too.
Michael: (looks over at Jessica his best friend sitting next to her boyfriend who's holding hands with her, he looks back at Melissa grabs her hand and laces his fingers in hers)
Melissa: (smiles, and looks at Jason, who seems to give her the look of "I told you so" sliding her finger up and down his thumb Mike starts to get annoyed, right away, he pulls his hand away)
Michael: Stop it, that feels weird.
Melissa: Right, I'm sorry. (Michael gets up to leave, and goes into the house to get a blanket)
Jason: ( looks at Melissa) I'm sorry.
Melissa: I told you what happens, now I lost another chance.
Jason: Hey, that's not fair.
Melissa: Life isn't fair, Jason. Not with me. You have a girlfriend, Megan. You're fine. Just don't give me anymore advice ok.
Jason: (whispers under breath) Whatever
Melissa walks into the house sits on the couch, Michael is talking with a friend in the kitchen Megan has called everyone into the living room to watch the movie, everyone agreed on the Jeepers Creepers reel. Melissa sits on the floor when five other people jump on the couch. There's no more seating left, when Michael walked in, he had no choice but to sit next to Melissa. Melissa lye under the covers on the floor. Mike sits down next to her, reaches for a pillow, lays down and covers under the same blanket. He closes his eyes. Trying not to think about Jessica and her boyfriend holding hands. Melissa glances at him with shear sadness, thinking, it's not over. Not this time, not this guy. He's got the emotional side open. Her chance is sitting right next to her. She wont let it go, not that easy.)
(The movie is over..everyone walks out, plays in the rain Mike and Melissa stand side by side, havent spoken a word since the trailor incident. Wrapped in the blanket Melissa hides her face under it, Michael just threads away.. she kisses his shoulder on the other side of the blanket, Michael- unaware of what she had just done. Nor will he ever know. He didn't ever realize that night, Melissa had fallen in love with him.)
A year later on the Tennis courts of the school parking lot, Melissa and Michael, and Tabitha and Katie are praticing. It's all their first time on the the Tennis team, exhibition players, all except Michael, a varsity team member, he had his advantage from a summer course he took. Every practice, every day at lunch in the hallway, Melissa fell deeper in love with Michael. Everyone claims it became an obsession. She talked about him 24/7 to all her friends, even if he was just around the corner. Melissa never realized it was an obsession until her senior year, Michael was a Junior.
All of the endless summers, walks and talks practices and parties, with Michael, Melissa was happy, enveloping every word, and thing she did with Michael, even if she wasn't around. She knew exactly where Michael was and what he was doing. Without Michael, Melissa didn't have a life. She had nothing to talk about. At home, her life was dad, divorcing Mom who cheated, her sister who was internet crazy, and she had an old crush that made her feel unloved, and unwanted by anyone. Michael had helped her over the years with getting over the insanity she had developed from that old crush. His name was Jake Pinnex. He had caused her so much pain, guilt, hurt, self-destruction. Melissa led herself to believe, that was the reason she fell so in love with Michael, he helped her release the pain that had caused her to loose her life. Drinking away her soul, Michael made Melissa promise never to drink again, she kept that promise because she didnt want to let her "true love" down. Another thing was that she never ceased to apologize every chance she got. If it was for saying something rude out of the blue, for Michael's ignorance, and ego, Melissa would apologize. One time, she had even flipped him off right behind him. He didn't know until the pastors son had told him. He had found out what Melissa did. The pastors son, David, was also a picture of Melissa's affection once in middle school. She would apologize for everything. Michael stopped talking to her after that, he wouldnt hang out with her at the tennis courts, sit next to her at parties, look at her in the hallway or anything. Melissa would leave him gifts and notes in his locker, but he'd just throw them away after reading the notes, the gifts werent much but flowers for sweetest day, a mixed cd, a picture of her in Tennis she left in his mailbox at his house and the traditional birthday cards. Megan and Melissa even baked Michael brownies, Jello, and cookies or cake for his birthday all those years. He felt embarrassed every year at school in the hallway, when they would make a big scene about it. Michael's mom, had shared the same birthday with Melissa, one time Mike had put a bag of Kettle Corn in Melissas locker ofr her birthday, surprising Melissa, she asked everyone who it was that put it there. Everyone kept it a secret, until Melissa found out Michael put it there, he didnt want it, but his friend gave it to him when he saw them once at a rival store his dad worked at. That's a whole nother story too. Anyways. When Michael had stopped talking to Melissa, she noticed he made new girly friends. One's that were smarter and prettier than her. She got more jealous and it caught up with her fast. Melissa even had to go to the Peer Counseling room, unfortunately one of those girls was the Peer Counselor herself, and had to retrieve Michael from his classroom, and have Melissa tell him in person how she felt and how heartbroken she was that he would no longer even give her a second look anymore, after all the great times they had together, and such. Michael gave Melissa a hug and an 'I'm sorry" before he left the room, but he still never spent time with her. It was just another crush, in Melissa's book, another chance lost, but not forgotten. She eventually made herself move on.
Towards the end of September in Melissa's Senior year. She had just gotten over Michael. She had developed a new crush, on a boy named Eric. She took her chance with him too. This time, Eric was easy to get to, he had dated several of her other friends and she thought maybe if she wasn't as seriously crazy with knowing everything about him this time, it would work out with Eric. And it did. Melissa and Eric started dating October 6th 2006, they painted such a pretty picture everyday. He would say goodmorning to her when they met in the parking lot and they'd walk to classes, they even said the "L" word to each other. Eric wasn't sure he wanted to say it, it took him a while to think about it, but he did. He found love in Melissa after a while. They dated, went to movies, out to eat a few times, and in March of 2007, he wrote a letter to Melissa, gave it to his friend who gave the message to Melissa at lunch one day. Melissa knew what it was going to say. She took off his class ring that was around her neck on a long chain, and took his hooded sweatshirt out of her locker and put it in his locker. She sat down by the water fountain opened the note and it read:
"I am sorry Melissa, I haven't been myself lately, I want to apologize for that. I don't think we can be together any longer. I have made decisions, I regret making. Mistakes, I knew I was making, I gave away everything with you. I hope you can forgive me, we can still be friends though.- Eric"
Melissa wondered what she had done wrong. Why did he break up with her? She didn't know until a few days later, he had cheated on her. With a girl that he introduced to her at his bowling practices when they were dating. The girl named Deanna. She had been a freshman at Deckerville high school, she transferred to Sandusky when they started dating. They were only together for a few weeks, when Eric broke with her because his dad wouldn't let him date during baseball season. Melissa and Deanna exchanged awkward glances in the hallway, several times, until one day, Melissa came across Deanna sitting next to her friend Kristy. Thats when Deanna and Melissa became friends, there was a school assembly that day, and during the entire assembly, Melissa and Deanna shared every experience they had with each other, about Eric, and in their lives before Eric. They are still friends to this day.
Melissa graduated from High school in May 2007. All of her friends moved away to college, and she didn't start going to Baker College in Port Huron 3 nights a week until the Fall of 2007. She quit after only a month and a half because it was too hard. She got a job at a store near her house in Sandusky where she still resided. She worked at Cabinets and Creations. She also started a second job in August of 2007 at a farm retail as a cashier, then quit because the customers were too rude giving her snide comments about the processes that she was required to go through with them and the information and etc... It was 4 months later that Melissa got a ticket to New York City and was able to pay a visit to her Uncle in Brooklyn. She needed a vacation, a time away from a life that had no meaning. The city gave her hope that she could do things, go places, be someone! She still doesn't have a job, but has been searching for the right job that suits her personality. Melissa has also taken action on her next step towards a degree in Business, hopefully make her life a whole lot easier, one step at a time she's trying. She feels no pressure or stress either with the "need of a boyfriend" either. She isnt ready to get herself back out there yet. When the time comes, Melissa will be found. The love of her life will find her. In the meantime, Melissa is a changed woman. She's finding a new self-control. She's going to change the world some day.