Trolls

I was young when I came here.  It has been such a long time.  But I think I can remember enough to tell you.  I mean, you deserve to know, right?  Isn’t that why they brought you here?  Not like all the others.  Isn’t that why they brought me here? I was lost, but I can find my way now.  It’s all really the same path, isn’t it?  Well, isn’t it? Answer me!  No, no, no.  You aren’t starting at the right place.  We have to start at the beginning.
I was born in a soft glade, with all of the animals standing around watching me.  And there were wise fellows-
No, that’s too far back!  You have to start at the beginning!
Right!  I was wandering away from home again, and the faerie queen doesn’t like us to wander too far from home.  From her home.  From the home.  I was lost, and the path was long behind me.  I was found, and the path was right in front of me.  I’m telling this story.  I was wandering, and there were others up ahead of me, and they were scary!  They had hair like me, but it wasn’t just on their heads or in their nether regions, it was on their faces!  And they had it on their arms and their legs!  It was like, the hair was rising up to revolt against the skin, and a war was not long coming.  Like, the battle for space would be won on the surface!  That’s brilliant!
         Oh dear, I’ve gone off again!  Right!  I didn’t understand why they had hair, but the war was almost won.  The queen doesn’t like for us to wander, you see, so I knew that I would be in trouble if they found me here.  But, they had to be her servants, right?  What else could possibly make sense?  But, I haven’t seen her servants like this, so maybe not.  It isn’t clear to me right now.  But there was not much that I could do, since they seem to have spotted me.
         I was running, and they had those strange things, clothes, and they were wearing them, and their feet were covered in shoes!  And how does that work?  And I ran away, but they were faster than me, so I was captured!  I was like a prisoner in waiting, with nothing but the world to turn to, and wouldn’t they just take me back home again?  I knew that I lost then, because they were laughing and joking about me, but I don’t know why.  I think they were jealous because I don’t need to wear animal skins or shoes.  And then they were looking at a dinner meal, but I didn’t like that, because they thought I was dinner, and they wanted to eat me!  But, I can’t be eaten, can I?  And, then I was wrong.
         The others were not like the queen, because she isn’t as complete as they are.  They have an extra part that I don’t have either, and it is a weapon that they use to hurt people.  It was hurting me, because they pulled me out of my cage, but we weren’t at my home yet, so they must have wanted directions.  And then, they held me down on the ground, because I must have been cold, so they were trying to warm me up, but I don’t wear animals.  I must have been crying, because “Shut up, you little bitch!” and “Hold still, you cunt!” and I was like a rag doll.
         And then, there was a pain that I haven’t felt before, and it was supposed to feel good, but it only hurt like a piece of something is being stabbed into me, and I can’t stop it!  But, the others were like a pack of dogs that were howling and fighting over dinner, and I was dinner, and they wanted a piece of me.  I felt awful, like I wanted the queen to come save me, and why wasn’t she here, and why hadn’t they taken me to her?  I didn’t get it, because the book about things like that is missing from the library, and someone needs to return it.  And they kept stabbing me, and it wasn’t feeling any better, so I just cried and cried, and then there was a large fist, like a rock that smashes me into sleeping, and now I know that they must be evil trolls.
         I thought the queen’s home was the biggest in the world, but there are bigger things.  I was taken by the others into a weird world, and it was loud noises, and big castles, and people like me, and trolls with more animal skins that are called “clothes,” and there are horses, but these ones can’t talk.  I am quiet, to listen to the voice of the world, but it doesn’t like me anymore, and we aren’t on speaking terms.  Then, all of the people like me are turning their eyes away, and the trolls are looking at me like that, and for a second I worry that I might be dinner again.  But, I am not dinner.  No, instead I am here, in this place.  And I don’t know what is happening for a long time, but it is kind of a relief, because the hurting kind of stops, and then I am alone for a long time.
         And, you know, this place isn’t really all that bad.  I mean, they give me my meals, and they have candy that makes me happy, and sometimes I am allowed to walk in the gardens.  I have been here longer than I can truly know, but I have stopped wishing to leave.  I imagine that the faerie queen is long dead by now, and her home is overgrown by weeds and vines.  And anyway, the world doesn’t speak to me anymore.  She was the first friend to abandon me.  Just like all the other doctors.  They had to go, and I sent them on their way with just a stabbing.  They were my dinner, I guess.  Silly trolls.  But you won’t abandon me, will you doctor?