What's my deal?

I feel the need 2 flo'/ so here i go/ still doin' my thing jus so you know/ I'm feelin' a little stuck though/ the kinda feelin' you get when you hear your tire blow/ leavin' you on the side of the road/ stranded with no control/ I jus go with the flo'/ trustin' it will take me where i want 2 go/ the unstable, off balance, sense of walkin' on a tight rope/ with jus a sense of hope/ not 2 fall and if the force grabs you/ remember the net might find you/ before your fate is met and help you bounce back/ even if it puts
you on a different track/ things happen for a matter of fact/ regardless of how you act/ i think we influence our lives, don't command them/ cuz shit can happen any day/ regardless of what you say, or even how you play/ im the only one that stands in my way/ day after day/ i waste, but am i wastin'/ or stayin', safe, in the way i'm livin'/ is there a reoson for all the strainin'/ when i feel like all i'm doin' is complainin'/ steady effort 2 keep on maintainin'/my sanity i feel is on a thin line, hangin'/ so for all this, what am i gainin'/ to see the perspective i'm strainin'/ am i missin' the message or even on the right path/ I'm not sure, i've neva been good at math/ so to solve that problem, the answer i wouldn't have/ anything gets 2 close, the gates go up, chained and locked/ sometimes i wish this defense i could stop/ wish i could make myself feel what i know/ and not be so cold/ you step forward and i step back/ whatever happened 2 opposites attract/ what i think i feel, is it real/ let me know the deal/ even if you tried you could neva steal/ my heart belongs to me/ and my love, i can't give away for free/ i wish you truly knew me/ wanna call jus 2 hear your voice/ would have you in front of me if i had a choice/ but when you answer my mind goes blank/ and i forget what i was gonna say/ with your heart and mind i don't want 2 play/ don't want 2 crowd and its so easy for me 2 walk away/ even easier for me 2 deny/ it makes me want to cry/ the way i feel inside/ the fear, that it's not what you want to hear/ but its exactly what i want to make clear/ l live so visual/ so much goin' on in my mental/ i'm made from no stencil/ i control my own pencil/ but at the same time the stroke i make isn't always what i see/ i have such vision, but sometimes can't see whats in front of me/ i love the way you hold me, neva thought anyone could throw me/ i want you 2 get to know me, but don't think what you do know is me poseing/ it's jus you don't know the whole me/ you know me about skin deep/ which is further then most have even those who wanted 2 seek/ i refrain to speak/ i constantly deny myself, call it my own self defeat/ i say nothing scares me but that just another part of myself retreat/ i don't take chances with some of those that i meet/ when i know i should atleast see where i fall and if i land on my feet/ don't understand why i feel the way i do about you to deny/and stop it, trust me i've tried 2/ but always find myself wanting 2 be beside you/ catch myself in a daze, lost in my mind/ and when i snap back, i've lost some time/ should i jus stop and leave you alone/ or am i goin' in the right direction, or should i jus take my ass home/ i get confused 'bout how i feel/ and i truly don't know what's your deal.