Random Rants on Life

To warn you all, I write the way I think, and my thinking process jumps around. A lot. :)


I know that as a female, I’m supposed to think that talking dirty is derogatory, but I don’t. It turns me on a lot. I mean, just hearing someone tell me they want to slam their dick in me, own me, fuck me to next Thursday. I mean, I can’t help myself, I come a little bit just hearing stuff like that. Now to my problem. I am pretty shy when it comes to telling my lovers this. Well, that sounds bad, like I have tons of sexual partners, which I don’t. I wouldn‘t mind expanding my horizons though. Before I get started on my life now, give me some of your time for a little background story.

So, I was with the same person for several years, and our sex life was extremely average. Average positions, no role playing, no outfits. Just recently, I ended things. Too many differences in our beliefs, you could say. In any case, now that I’m free, I want to experiment and try new things, be with new people, lose all of my inhibitions. This is easier said than done.

You don’t know me yet, but typing this stuff is a huge step for me. A lot of people will say that I like being talked dirty to because I have low self esteem, which is total bullshit. I’m a confident person, even vain in some respects. I simply have my own quirks, like anyone else.

I’m an average female from an average family and I enjoy average things. Going to shows, reading, writing, cooking, tennis, etc. etc. There is nothing spectacular about me. I have good manners. Great taste in movies, music, and books. I have a Myspace just like everyone else my age. I have very decided opinions on some things, and wishy washy feeling about others. I have no idea if my sexual fantasies are weird. Porn videos say they are quite common, but porn has so little in common with actual sex that this cannot be relied upon.
That’s all I really have to say on the matter for now.

Upwards and Onwards!

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I know it’s cliché to be an avid reader/writer and hate T.V., but I can‘t help my opinions. I. Cannot. Stand. Television. Shows. Today. What the hell is reality T.V.? Will someone please explain the interest factor because I can’t seem to grasp it. My inner Hulk grows a little every time a check out person, overly friendly neighbor, loner trying to make a connection, or peer looks me seriously in the eye and asks what I thought about last nights episode of Total Shit. I’m starting to get annoyed just thinking about it. Ugggghhhhh.


March 7, 2008

From First to Last is an amazing band, and very underappreciated. Mirror Mask is a fantastic movie. Watch it for your artistic education. Be open minded.

Why is keeping an open mind one of the most difficult things to do? It seems to me that people over complicate things by over thinking them. For instance, my sister currently has a bit of what some would call a complicated private life. She is in love with two people, a female, and a male. She does not know how to choose. And is obsessing over what to do about her situation. I think she should chill out, take a step back, relax, and let things float along a natural course.

I think people should do this in most cases. Freaking out, making hasty decisions, that only complicates things. Just be happy. Don't worry about things that you can't change. Understand that you're not fully ready to commit to a decision till the idea of it stops being scary.