from here to a miracle moment

Dear reader, I have had many spiritual experiences that led me to God and fulfillment.
So now I look back to those years to try and isolate just what it was that made it all happen.
This is what happened:
God spoke to at least five times.
I did 3 miracles witnessed by about five people.
I was baptised by God at 21 and the world disappeared and I saw the love-light of God everywhere. From then on, my mind and my body and my soul knew that reality is merely an interpretation we are making of the love-light of God. Reality is merely an oil portrait on a canvass; we can wash the oils off if were not particularly happy with the way things are, and begin again -- evryday there is a murder: let's begin again.

The key ingredients were:
love of one's talents bestowed by parents
a sex life that balances out and ultimately cancels our work life or work self

Really, just those two items is sufficient: the rest follows.

By 'the rest' I mean: curiousity about life, a search for a path that fills the heart, a belief that there just has to be a perfect answer out there somewhere, an ever-attentive attitude, a love of precision in actions rather than mere power.

The baptism came about because of the two key ingredients above. Our parents define us and chain us to an unhappy life where were forced to establish an Id and develop an ego. However, rebelling because of that is a big mistake.
For example the hippies of the sixties did not find freedom, just used hate of war as an excuse  to rebel against parents and try drugs and sex -- no big deal: its what every generation does to greater or lesser degree. So rebellion is not freedom from the confines of the Id, but rather an exploration of all the forms the Id can take.
The core of the Id is the mind's worship of excessive intensity in actions or thoughts or feelings. Thus sex has an Id and an ego also. Plus there is a self-sex Id, and to cap it off, three more Ids that can be described as a Gay spirit, a spirit of tyrancy and hate and a spirit that combines both.
Thus rebellion is not freedom but chaining oneself to other Ids.

Only your parents will give you the most love, and hence freedom from Ids -- even though paradoxically they appear to chain you to an Id: 'Remember be home by ten!' 'Don't forget your schoolwork!' and so on.

The baptism in my life was my parents chaining me to a self Id, and my sexual antics that forced them to admit they don't know me anymore. And at that point your between work and sex and see the canvass of the world: your defined in their minds by neither work nor sex.

Not everyone may be so fortunate as to get a taste of sex from under the age six and upwards. I was befriended by a bisexual boy from a family of sexual perverts. Though this could have been a bad thing, and is in many respects, it turned out for the good.
We only masturbated and I never had sex with him -- for the record. But he was certainly having sex with girls before the age of 12. Not me, I was too afraid of my mother, and hence by association afraid of all girls.

So it was an unusual set of circumstances that appears to have set me free with a baptism at 21.

I reckoned by this that its unnatural for children to be separated from all sexual activity.
That means that if this was a natural world, they would be married by six certainly.
However, the catch is that they would NOT be having the perverse sex that adults reckon they enjoy. Were talking about a new world, new description, same white canvass.

What is really happening, is that children are separated from sex by force and this only serves to frustrate them and develops in them the Id and ego. The first total capitulation of the normal self we call 'puberty'. The hormonal changes caused by the energetic personality changes and NOT visa versa. Thus at puberty the Id strongly asserts itself.

But this is too excessive and too sudden and is a bad sign. If the children had sex from six -- in marriages arranged by parents -- then they would achieve a natural puberty at age 21: the same time I was baptised: the baptism was the natural puberty.

I did have a puberty at 13, and regreted that i suddenly shot up in height, preferring to be shorter. But I think my early sex and games with my sister after school, largely offset the negative effects of puberty.

And, by the way, puberty causes menstruation to begin. We know that in our next world menstruation will be done away with because we will not sexually frustrate the children in that coming utopia. Isaiah 4.

I hope you can see that this sexual frustration of children, or forcing of adult perversions on them, causes all our problems: war, rape, pollution and so forth and so on.

I can tell you that holy sex will be gentle and not rough. There will be no ejaculation unless a baby is wanted. First child at about 65 years of age. Isaiah 65:20 Genesis 5 The penis will be inserted only as deep as it is wide. The clitoris and lips will expand to great size. The penis will expand to great size and make child-bearing painless. The hole is 'go' the lips 'ballast' and the clitoris 'stop'. The 69 is the main or 'soul' position for nearly all the sex.

So if all this is true ( I found out by interpretation of dreams) then what is the problem now?

From my revelations and research, it appears we make the mistake of assuming that we must be powerful to make sex hot.
It seems as though if we were working correctly and precisely, then a woman would get hot very easily and be heavy breathing with a feather touch.
That is, its finishing work properly that makes a woman hot! Surprise Surprise!

Logically, if you still have work on your mind when you begin sex, then half your energy and power and strength is still focussed on work; so naturally, you have to FORCE your body to change its focus by forceful sexual acts. That old adage: Finish what you start!

We can also see that if you have a long period of sex, your body will not want to work: like a flywheel does not want to stop and change direction of rotation.

'Working correctly', could entail working together -- I admit i don't know those details. But certianly, its working with precision in mind and not power in mind: believing that, having faith that, precise acts alone can supply all wants and especially needs.
(Just as now we assume powerful acts alone will supply all wants and needs.) Power worship can take many forms: like big talk, attitude, intellectual might and memory recall, excitement worship and so forth.

Excitement is pleasure plus pain, whereas by living precisely we try to extract the pain and be left with nothing but pleasure.

Genesis 29:20. 'Jacob worked seven years for Rachel but they seemed like only a few days because of his love for her.'