I hate how My father Loves me

When I was sick at school, the office was panicking, looking for a family member. No one was home. My dads work is far, and he’s the owner.. There’s secret recipes only he knows. However he rushed in his car and came scared to my school. I needed emerge, I felt it, but couldn’t find the breath to say it, when I spoke my voice was too quiet to hear. He parked in front, and came in to carry me down the stairs. He picked me up in the cradle baby position and walked out in front of all my friends. You’d think I would be embarrassed, but no this mans my father and when you’re extremely sick you don’t care about anything around you.
He’s like you need to eat your pale, I’m getting you Mc Donald’s. I could manage a few words. I said no dad, please no. He bought it anyway and took me home. He thought I was strained and couldn’t walk because I was sick. So he carried me into the house and placed me on the couch, and I tipped to the floor, and rested my head on the edge. My dad came back with the Mc Donald’s and watched me stare at it. I couldn’t eat; I was too weak to open my jaw. I was surprised I found the strength to shake my head and say no dad. He tries to feed me fries, I was too sick to eat, and weak to open my mouth. He’s like resting one hand on my head, and telling me to open so he’d feed me. As my eyes would slowly shut, he’d shake me and tear up. I could hear him saying what’s wrong. I hated seeing him scared; I feared he’d have a heart attack. He exhaled a deep breath and lifted my arm over his shoulder, and struggled to get my coat on. He then took me to emerge sweating and in tears.
After they took care of me in the hospital, and I slept the next three days. I would cry thinking of everything my father went through for me.
The days he comes tired from work, from standing up 7am till 7 pm everyday no holidays or vacation. He’d then tell me to put my books down when he gets home. He hasn’t eaten all day, and he wants to take me to the mall before it closes. I tell him no he should eat first. He says no, my daughter comes first. I will eat when I return; the malls are closing in 2 hours. Im like dad you can barley walk, he like what’s 2 more hours going to do. Yallah lets go. I walk behind him in the mall looking at things, and look up to watch how he drags his feet, he can barley walk. This man aged faster then he should have. He looks 20 years older then he is.
He doesn’t let anyone pay for anything, even my schooling. He has an account and deposits money every month for my schooling (global trust fund). I don’t pay for anything. Not the new car he’s getting me, clothes, school, jewelry, what ever my heart desires.
His dad died when he was 8, and he’s been working ever since. My dad mails money to his mom in Lebanon, his sisters, brothers, everyone. That’s how he is generous. He sponsored 2 families in the Middle East. And donates thousands of dollars to different causes in London. He doesn’t even treat himself to anything.
Before he’d leave to work at 6am, and arrive at 12 at night. I would never see him, unless I visited his work during the day, even then he’s busy with people. Before he leaves at 5 am he comes into my room kisses my cheek then leaves. At night when he returns at 12 kisses me once more then sleeps for a few hours.  I get more then I deserve, if it wasn’t for us kids, he could have stopped working long ago and lived in a mansion with my mom. I heard him talking once to my mom, about retirement. He says he wont stop working cause of us. He wants to pay for my university, and home, and everything I need and want. He doesn’t want me to ever have to work till I’m done uni, and even by then my school would be paid. I told him no once, he got mad, he said he’s my father, no one can love me more then him. He doesn’t want me to spend my life working to pay off uni. He said what else is your father for?
I need to struggle, and work, and feel what its like for others who don’t have what I have. Im blessed, but hate seeing my dad tired and working so hard. I know life would be easier without me. I hate how he spends so much money on everyone except himself. He burns me inside, and I often spend think of it as well when I see him struggle to walk. I fear the day he dies from over working himself. Hes getting sick, and I fear his kids are the reason. If he dies soon, I will only think its my fault.
He had a poor childhood, and had nothing. So he is giving me everything now, so I never feel what he felt.
He’s been through a lot, and will rest at nothing to see me happy.