The First Crush

                                The First Crush{/b]

    Anna stomped down the platform, grumbling to herself. Exactly on the night of the office party, Mom had to call her home. Why, Mom even sent her the tickets! And now her train was late.  Her colleagues were out partying and she had to spend the night at the Chennai Central. She looked around for a place to rest her feet. A young man sat on a bench, reading the Hindu. Not too bad-looking, she mused. She put her bags in the space in between and settled at the other end.
        There was a moment of doubt. Then both turned to each other, wide-eyed.
         "Anna!!"          
  "Dilin?!?"
         "Goodness, it's been years since I've seen you! What are you doing in Chennai?"
        "I've been working at Rubens Computer Solutions for the past six months. And you?"
              "I'm presently the manager at FEDCO Bank. We shifted here after my twelfth grade, you know. "
         "How could I know? No one had any contact with you after that. No phone number, no e-mail id... you weren't even on Orkut!"
      "I got busy, I guess" he said, with his disarming smile. Sigh! How she had fallen for it!
         Anna was sitting alone in the classroom, waiting for the stage call. She was reluctant to step outside because of her attire: white sari with the legendary blue border, her face wizened with layers of paint. Anna was playing Mother Teresa in the tableau.
      Just then, Dilin walked in. She would never forget the look on his face that day. His mouth hung wide open, his eyes sparkled with mischief. Then his lips closed into a knowing grin; at once startled, naughty and pleased...
         "Anna..."
          She glared at him with mock anger.
         "Hold it right there..."
"Anna, you look so sweet... just like a granny!"
"Thanks for the compliment. I'm supposed to look like one."
        "Why are you sitting here all alone? Everyone else is having fun outside." He perched on the desk she sat on.
         "Coz I don't want people staring at me."
"Poor you," he said, sounding genuinely concerned, "Mother Teresa...", before breaking into peals of laughter.
         He kept her in splits with his inane jokes until it was time for her event. Then they wished each other luck and parted.
"So, are you in touch with the rest?"
         "Huh... Only with a few."
         "Where's Dolly now?
"She's a journalist for Panorama TV... sees a lot of the country. And Kamal?"
          "I totally lost contact with him." Pause. "Anna, Remember all the 'group work' we did for class tests?"
         "Of course I do!"
In ninth grade they had been seated together in class, Dilin and Kamal in front, she and Dolly behind. They would study together for all of Kaveri madam's tests, and if they still didn't know the answer, well...
    And she had connived to sit behind Dilin the whole year. It all seemed so silly now. Something to look back and laugh at.
         "And remember the play we did in tenth? When you lost the script?"
          "How could I forget?" He rubbed his forehead as though it had been hurting for a long time. "You hit me so hard that day, it still hurts."
    "We searched every nook and corner for it! Even poked around in the school grounds, 'coz you said it fell out of the window." She folded her arm across her chest. You deserved it."
         "I have nought to say in defence." Especially when after all the trouble, it was found in his bag.
  "So, where are you going?"
         "Home. And the train's late."
    "So is mine. I guess we have a long night ahead."
        After tenth standard, Dilin changed schools. He came once after that, to meet his old friends, but they had not even talked properly. Years later, when they were planning a reunion, she remembered Dilin. All her batchmates would be there. It would be fun to see Dilin again.
         It took her two days to muster the courage to dial his number.
                   "Hello, may I speak to Dilin?"
    "Come again?"
        "Dilin?"
               "Wrong number."
Just like that. Full-stop. And after all those years, here he was; her first crush.
         First crush! Goodness, that was so long ago. At some moment, between the endless squabbles and banter, she had fallen in love with his smile. With his dimples that deepened when he grinned. Just seeing him on the way to class used to make her heart go to pieces. She had grown out of it long ago, of course. But then, the first crush would always be special.
                   "Which bank did you say you're working in?"
"FEDCO's. Accounts manager at the Ashok Nagar branch." His voice was tinged with pride.
         "But didn't you take science in higher secondary?"
  "Yeah. I nearly went into engineering too. But commerce was my calling."
         She couldn't suppress a smile.
"What?"
"You used to be hopeless at numbers in school..."
        "I was not!"
    "Was too."
            "Was not."
         It was just as she had imagined. Here she was, quarrelling with him like always. They gabbled on non-stop through the night; about friends, family, work. The old days came alive, the excursions, the pranks...
"So, Anna, found someone yet?"
    Anna blushed. "Nope, still waiting for Mr. Right. You?"
         "Nah. There were a few passing interests, but nothing lasted."
    Passing interests?
"Um, there was something I wanted to tell you," he continued.
"What?"
    "Well, back in high school... I had a really big crush on you."
Anna tried to act nonchalant, but her heart was singing. So she had been right all along. He had fallen for her too!
         "You had a crush on me?"
"I mean, it's all over and past, ok, no feelings of the sort anymore."
        "Of course."
  "Gee, it sounds so stupid when I think of it now."
"What do you mean, stupid?"
         "Well, you were so boring! Little Miss Goody-two-shoes, never talked to boys, never fooled around... The girls I dated in college; now they were real girls."
         Something crashed inside her.
    "How sweet of you to say that," she said acidly.
"You're welcome," and he bowed in an exaggerated fashion.
         "Please don't mind. I always hoped to tell you. Someday."
"That I was a nerd?"
"Come on, not that. About you being... you know... my first crush."
         She didn't even hear him. All her life, Anna had dreamt of this. One day he would profess his love, and she would return his affections. And now he had broken her dream. She was fifteen again and plucking petals off a daisy. He likes me, he likes me not.. Of course he liked her. Why else did he keep popping into her classroom, if not to see her? Long after, when some small incident would remind her of him, she would wonder: does he remember me too, sometimes?  She didn't love him, if that was the word. She had forgotten half of the crazy things she did for him in high school. But she wished he had been faithful, and had broken her heart a little more gently.
  "Guess who my big crush was."
        "Who?"
              If she had built castles, he must have too...
  "Hanif."
         "Hanif?" The biggest flirt in Marjorie High? A lot of girls had drooled over him, but Anna?
         "Yup. I know, all the girls were after him, but Hanif, he... he made me feel special. Like when Ma'am would say something silly, he would look back at... look at me and laugh, like it was our joke." Anna simply replaced Dilin with Hanif and said everything she always wanted to tell him.
    "He was the sweetest guy I ever knew."
  "I used to think you were a damn serious girl, Anna. You seriously liked Hanif?"
    "I'm not going to tell him, dear. Just an old thing. You spilled the beans, so I told you." She smiled forcefully.
Neither spoke for a long time.
    "The trains are so erratic," she said finally, "I'm thinking of catching a flight next time."
         "Hmm, the fares are pretty low these days."
  "Uh-huh, what with all the no-frills carriers getting pocketed..."
      They talked about stupid, mundane things after that. Old friends on a railway platform, watching the trains speed by, discussing airline rates and mergers.
As the night sky grew paler, the Charminar express drew into the station.
  "I guess I gotta go," he said, gathering his luggage.
  "Goodbye, Dilin."
      "Goodbye, Anna. Keep in touch."
          Dilin walked to his coach, and stopped. He took out his wallet and removed a tattered photograph. Of Anna as Mother Teresa, cut out from the school magazine. It was the only picture he could find of her. He crushed it between his fingers and dropped it on the railway tracks.