A Day in the life of Bipolar

Hi i feel i should explain a few things about this essay I was 23yrs old still with my ex fiance so just ignore that part in it haha but the contest was titled a day in the life of a bipolar person so this was my entry i missed the deadline so i figured i should display it somewhere lol I also at the time was dead set on going after my fashion hobby i love alot of artsy hobbies but my ultimate dream is to sing i still dunno what to as my solid backup career lol but i am 24 so i got some time left to figure it all out

ok well sorry for rambling but one more thing to tell you is that what i have written here is very personal to me and its just a piece of what i deal with but without people like me the world would be colorless and boring lol enjoy and please be kind with your comments and critique thanks!!


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Good morning and welcome to my life.
You will have the opportunity to share my thoughts, feelings, and struggles that I must overcome each and everyday. I was diagnosed with Bipolar at the young age of thirteen years old. Those three words “you are Bipolar” changed my life. Things started to make sense. I finally had answers to the questions I constantly asked myself. I always thought I was just unable to fit in that I was just a “weirdo” or “freak” for how I thought or acted.


As I grew up I have had a lot of symptoms to overcome and bear.
Being sad and hopeless for no reason at all, Being so out of control and impulsive I did things I am not proud of, thinking life is not worth living. Well, now I am twenty-three years old and have a new philosophy. I am good at a lot of things. I will go far and succeed. The only problem is how to go about doing it. Well let me explain.

You know those old sayings, “Life is what you make of it”, “Always be yourself”, and “Patience is a Virtue”? Well, those are not just “sayings” they are life lessons. Maybe not to you but to me they are important.

“Life is what you make of it”
I am Bipolar that does not mean I am not destined to be great and successful. Look at the sixteenth president of the United States; he was believed to be Bipolar. His name was Abraham Lincoln. It was his thinking “outside the box” that made him great. He used his creative thinking and ability to empathize to his advantage. I find icons like him inspiring and refreshing to know that they dealt with similar symptoms I deal with day in and day out and accomplished so much.

“Always be yourself”
This is a hard one because being Bipolar it is extremely difficult to find out who you really are. Growing up is hard enough for anyone but add a mental disorder on to it and it’s unbearable. Sure there are great times but mostly its struggle after struggle. As for me I was lucky to have attended an alternative high school which made growing up a little easier to cope with considering I was around people that dealt with similar issues. I excelled there I became an important part of my school community I started to advocate my needs. When I tried college it was maybe not the best choice for me I tried for two semesters and decided to drop out. So the for the past couple of years I have been finding myself. I am attending a center for creative living. It’s a day program and I am learning to go after my goals and tackle everyday issues. So even though I don’t know who I am I know what my strengths are. I am smart, creative, determined, a person you can count on, and I don’t want to settle I want to succeed.

“Patience is a virtue”
Being Bipolar you must wait. Just like anyone else plus more. Well, that means having to wait and see if my medication works. And boy does that take patience. As I am writing this essay I am searching for the right combination and it is a difficult thing to go through I feel as though I am a guinea pig. I know though that I must go through this “torture” to find a combination that works for me. One of my biggest problems I face is “staying” on medication. When I feel stable and good for awhile my brain tricks me into not taking my medication. It’s difficult and lengthy to explain but let’s just say that it disrupts my life and progress indefinitely. I must express that I do dislike having to take medication but I realize my life would be unmanageable and will go absolutely no where if I did not take medication. So the only way to have anything that resembles a functional life I must be on medication. By the way it takes patience to start over when you fall down and being me it’s just good to have something to prevent me from having to stay in the hole longer than I want to. But being in this so called waiting room I am able to work on the tools and plans I will use when I am stabilized. I want to go into fashion design so as I am learning to jump my hurdles I am also teaching myself how to draw and build a portfolio so when I am ready to apply for a school I will feel confident and ready to approach that challenge.

I have not always thought this way. You just happened to catch me on a “good” day. There have been days where brushing my teeth was an accomplishment. Where all I thought was how to escape my pain and racing thoughts, emotions always blown way out of proportion and, Family and friends not understanding why I can’t just “snap out of it”. Times where my decisions were unexplainable to anyone else and how I would have to pay for my actions later. Reminding myself for what I have done wrong when I can’t even explain why I have done it in the first place to myself. Mania, the best way to describe it to anyone is attack of the body snatchers. You do things you would never even think of when you are stabilized. I don’t normally share this information but I must to prove a point. If someone dropped money I would run after them to return it. But one time during a manic episode I stole my mother’s car and credit cards and spent around $1,500.00. To this day I am forced to live with this guilt from this incident. I have more incidents but there is just not enough time or words to explain.

I am thankful for my supports in my life my family and most of all my fiancé. He met me when I was stabilized and it was great. And like usual I stopped taking my medication. He watched me go from confident outgoing attractive Laura, to a Laura with no self esteem could not get out of bed and did not care about her appearance. It must me tough for him to see someone whom which he cares for deeply to change for the worst. And all he could do was be there for me. I would also like to inform you that my fiancé suffers from ADD so he copes with a disorder as well. Sometimes our disorders clash and we fight and that’s hard to deal with. My relationships are no doubt affected by my being Bipolar so it makes it harder to have any type of relationship. Being involved with someone means an equal partnership. When I am depressed or manic my fiancé picks up the pieces. He carries the relationship for both of us. That is hard to do and I love him more than words can say for understanding to the degree he does. At the same time I feel guilt and wish I didn’t have to put him through having to take care of me. I know that he loves me but I see frustration in his eyes and that distressing. I want not only success in all my relationships but first and foremost relationship with my fiancé.



Being bipolar things that should not be as difficult for some people are a huge challenge for me. I have goals, hopes, and dreams just like anyone else. Every time I accomplish anything it means so much more to me because I had to push myself and learn different techniques to reach my goal. I need to focus, have discipline enforced, and rework things in order to be comfortable and confident. Being bipolar is the best and worst thing to have happened to me. I am proud to have this disorder. At the end of a “good” day I feel so proud of myself. To other people it’s just another day but to me it’s a victory, a sense of satisfaction. Everything I accomplish is that much sweeter because I had to push myself and focus on the goal at hand. When the day is done I feel empowered, strong, and alive. When I look back on my life one day I want to know anything I did I did it my way with bipolar. So you see people with bipolar can function fine in society. We just need the tools and plans to cope and get us through everyday. I don’t like when people think just because I am who I am I will be a danger to society. I may be “crazy” but I am not stupid. I love to prove people wrong. So I am taking my life and I am going to succeed and prove just because I am bipolar it does not mean I can’t have a fulfilling life I can be proud of.