The Letter

The Letter

         It is late fall and the leaves are beginning to fall.  I walk along the cliff-side shore and the breeze from the sea sings along my face.  It’s been three years now and I still can’t forget that day.  I come here a lot now, almost as if I were to not return I would begin to forget.  I don’t know how I could, but the thought continues to dawn on me.  It seems ridiculous but even now as I am walking along I feel like her face is fading from my memory.  Her face is like a faded picture now, her long blonde hair is greyer now than the color of gold, her bright blue eyes seem faded and her smile seems worn.  I’m terrified what will happen if I can’t remember her face, even now I strain my ears to recall her last words.  I’m standing next to the edge now, and the waves crashing against the rocks below ring in my ears.  I pinched my eyes shut as the tears begin to form, this happens every time.  Why did she have to leave me?  Why did she jump?

*          *          *

         “Lauren, come away from there, it’s dangerous,” I said extending my hand attempting to take her away from the edge.  Her hair was flying in the wind and her dress was blowing around her, she looked as if she walked out of a portrait.
         “Noah, I’ll be fine, come over here and look at this! It’s beautiful.”  Her voice sang in my ears, so pleasant and sweet.  She turned her back to the cliff side and looked at me, her blue eyes sparkling like the sea below.  Off in the distance I could see the dark clouds looming.  A storm was coming and I could hear the low rumbling of thunder, it was going to be a bad one.
         “You look so beautiful there,” I smiled pulling out my camera, “Please, let me take you picture.”
         “Where do you think we go when we die?”  Her voice was pleasant but I think I heard a sense of trembling.
         “I don’t know, heaven is what I’ve been told about since I was child.”
         “I heard that the moment after your death you fly.”
         “Could we please not talk about this?  I’m not a fan of talking about death.”  Our eyes met as I walked towards her extending my hand again.
         “I love you Noah.”  She looked down at her feet, as her hair fell atop her face covering her eyes. 
         “I love you too Lauren.”  As I neared her I could smell the salt of the sea and as I reached my hand to touch her arm, she fell away from me. 
         My eyes opened in horror as she fell backwards over the cliff.  It happened in slow motion as I raced forward to grab hold of her arm but I missed.  I fell to my knees at the edge as I saw her outline plummet to the rocks below and the raging sea that would claim her.

*          *          *
         
         Three years ago.  They ever found her body.  They said the sea must have claimed it, that the waves dragged her away from me.  And now I hold this letter.  A letter that was delivered to me three weeks ago.  A letter that Lauren wrote was delivered to me.  It had to have been from her, I can remember her hand writing, I compared it to her old letters.  The letter said to come to the spot, the spot from three years ago, it said I would remember, and she signed it with her pet name.  No one knew that name but the two of us.  It couldn’t be a joke, this had to be real.  The letter was clutched tight in my hand.  It was wrinkled now, and water stained from my tears.  So, here I was, standing on the edge, three years later.  Again, I could see a storm rumbling in the distance, the thunder was beginning low like a drum.  The wind was beginning to pick up as I saw the leaves being stripped from the trees.  As the clouds began to move forward, the sun was blotted out as darkness blanketed the area.
         “Where are you Lauren?”  She has to be here, she has to be.  My mind was racing at the thoughts of what kind of sick joke I may have become the victim of.  No! This has to be real, she sent this letter to me, and I know it.  My mind began to race thinking of all the possibilities of what could be occurring to me.  Maybe the letter was old, something she sent me before three years ago.  But the date was marked three weeks ago!  Maybe someone had a copy of her handwriting and this was some ploy to bring me out here.  The ideas continued to over power me and I began to break down.  I felt myself fall to my knees, and then collapse upon the grass.  The wind was whipping across my body and a chill began to set in.  I brought the letter in front of my face and I couldn’t control it anymore, the tears streamed down my face.  “Lauren,”  I choked up.  I missed her now more than ever.  Without fail, rain drops began to fall upon me.  I was going to get ill now.  “What am I going to do with out you Lauren?  I need you.”
         “And I need you too Noah.” 
         I looked up and there she was the angel in my life.  Standing in front of me in the same dress she wore on that day three years ago.  She was standing there with her smile still radiant, her hair still long and beautiful, and her eyes still gleaming like diamonds.  I couldn’t believe it at first.  I rubbed my eyes, but there she was still looking back.  She took a few steps towards me and knelt down beside me, “Stand up sweetheart.”
         I brought myself up and could feel my heart beating so hard in my chest I felt it would break through.  “How is this…” was all I managed to choke up.
         “-possible?”  She finished.  “I’ve been given the opportunity to come here to talk to you.  I missed you.”  She reached out to touch my hand but I pulled it back in fear.  “It’s ok.”  She said gently.  I extended my hand to her and she took mine, her skin was warm.  I thought for a second my heart may have skipped but it returned to normal.
         “Why did you leave me Lauren?”  I couldn’t bring myself to look into her eyes while I said it, she was so angelic now. 
         “It was my time Noah, I had to go.”
         “But…” 
         “It’s too hard to explain right now, but I’m here right now and that’s what matters.”
         “I don’t want you to leave me again; I want to stay with you.”  I tightened my grip on her hand and she gave me a reassuring squeeze and pulled me closer.
         “You can Noah, but you have to do something first.”
         “What? Anything, anything to stay with you!”  I began to hold her hand tighter afraid she would let go at any moment.
         “You have to jump.”  As she said that I looked into her eyes and I knew that she was serious.  I knew what I had to do if I wanted to stay with her.  I turned to look at the cliffs and began to turn myself towards them.  I slowly placed one foot in front of the other as I neared the edge.
         “What is it like?” I asked solemnly.  It was time.
         “Like falling asleep.”