A Day in the Hospital

“What are you in for?” a blonde rag doll shouted from across the opposite side of the lunch table.
“Uh…” my shaky voice muttered an indistinguishable sound in response. I have to think about this for a minute. I’ve got to come up with a cool, suave answer. It had to be highly impressive. Maybe I blew the brains out of an infant. Maybe I murdered my brother with an axe. Or maybe I bit off the arm of a close friend. No, I know what happened. I chewed off my own toes and bathed in my own blood. Or perhaps I drove across the country just to set my ex’s member on fire then shove it down his throat. I’m wanted in 12 different states and I’m not even legal yet. But now what did I really say? I pulled out the coward card and avoided the question.
“I don’t know. What are you in for?” I asked her in a cool and relaxed voice.
“Same thing we’re all in here for.” She replied back in an irritated tone then turned her head away from me and continued the previous conversation she was carrying on with the girl beside her.
I dropped my head down in shame.
Then, out of nowhere a booming voice shouted, “DID YA KILL A NIGGA?!”
In one sudden whiplash of a movement, I jerked my head around to see where the voice is coming from, and what I saw made my eyes bulge in fascination. A very round, jovial black girl the size of the Pyramids had stuck her head out at the opposite end of the lunch table to scream obscene questions at me. She was in every sense all over the place. I wasn’t exactly sure where to look or how to even respond to a creature like that. Her nappy hair stuck straight out of her head like grass growing out of an empty field. I’m not sure if you could even call it hair. I suspect it was a bird’s nest that hid things like crack and snickers bars. It also didn’t help that she had a wild lazy eye, so there was constantly one eye on her food and the other was staring just above your head. It was as if she was looking past you, even though no one was behind you. Maybe she was talking to me; maybe she was talking to the wall. It was hard to tell with her.
“No!” I yelled back in disbelief. “But I’m sure you did!” I called back at her.
“Naw, I’m jus crazy. Das why I’m here.” She replied matter-of-factly, and turned her head to converse with the girl next to her.
Just as quick as there was noise, there was silence. No one else bothered to say anything to me. I was the new girl, why weren’t people interested in me? It didn’t matter; I don’t care about them anyway. I don’t even know why I’m here. I know I’m sane; I don’t have problems like they do.
So, I sat and stared down at my plate full of meat. It seemed so crusty and old. Flies buzzed around like bandits trying to take the fleshy subject away from me. I don’t even eat meat. I just picked at the pile of grapes I grabbed at the fruit stand earlier and shoved those into my mouth like sweet candy.
I decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take some time to glance around the lunch room and size up the other patients at the table.
The first thing I noticed is that most of the girls in the group gravitate towards rag doll like she’s the leader of the wolf pack. She seemed to hold some kind of mysterious power that no one else possessed here. She was the veteran of this place. She had experience, which, for a short moment intimidated me, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from getting the real story out of her.
The obese mess in the corner, I noted that she is the comic relief. Her name was Ezra. All the girls smiled and laughed when she came around. She always made a scene. Plus, it was difficult not to notice a moving building coming towards you.
There was only one boy at our lunch table which I thought was awfully strange; 8 girls and only 1 boy. That was the only factor that made him stick out. Other than that, he was nothing but a bland waste of body and mind. He was an introvert; quiet, shy, and his skin was a white that you could only find on the highest snow capped mountain. He was nothing special.
The next person I noticed was a cheerful, outgoing girl named Taz. She had a short, squatty frame and short, bright pink hair which was very fitting to her personality. The pink hair complimented her chocolate brown complexion. She was the first person to start a real, cohesive conversation with me. Thank God, it was about time for something normal. It was just your average small talk chit chat. What’s your name? How old are you? What do you like to do? What school do you go to? Oh, I just love your hair! People think you’re nuts too? How fun it is to relate! Taz was my new hospital buddy, and I was very thankful for her presence there.
After we finished up lunch the nurse showed me to the room where I would be staying. He told me I would be sharing it with another girl as well.
“I hope it’s Taz!” I thought to myself.
As we walked to our room I couldn’t help but notice how intricate the hospital layout was. Such an excess of hallways and doors; there was no way anyone could escape this place. I should have been paying attention to all the turns and twists we were making to get to my room, but my eyes kept wondering around in amazement like they had just been opened for the first time. After quite a few minutes we finally reached the room I would be staying in.
When I walked in, instead of seeing what I had hoped to see ,Taz, I saw a vacant looking body sprawled out on one of the beds.
“This is Rachel, your roommate.” said Nurse Mark. I now know his name because he was wearing a silver name tag that I had not noticed earlier.
Nice to meet you, Mark.
Being so young and tactless, I wasn’t sure how to approach Rachel. She couldn’t move or speak so she was virtually meaningless to me as a roommate. I just sat and stared at her like a contagious disease. Like if I spoke to her or touched her, my limbs would boil like acid and fall off. She had drool covering the edge of her mouth like a moat. Her crooked, bent fingers covered her chest like she was hiding a secret. She had so many tubes and wires coming out of her you would have thought she was a broken down car. There was nothing I could do but feel terribly sorry for her.
“Hi, nice to meet you,” I said quietly enough so she couldn’t hear me.
“Rachel will be transferred to another hospital tomorrow so you will have a new roommate soon.” Mark told me as he wheeled Rachel outside.
When he left, a cold, chilly breeze came in and loneliness embodied me. The room was cold and mean. Blank white walls stared at me in disgust. There was no decoration, no home life allowed. The only piece of furniture in the room besides the two beds was a small stand with a few drawers big enough to fit a Bible in. There was always enough room for the Bible in the south. The lodging was such a small space for people with big problems; this couldn’t be safe. I didn’t have much time to relax before the nurse came in and told me it was time for group therapy.
I walked out of my room and into an open area that looked like a waiting room. A small TV hung from the ceiling and there was also an abundance of wooden tables with magazines spread across them. Not the fun kind of magazines though like Vogue or Seventeen, but only boring health related ones and National Geographic. I glanced over at the big table in the center and saw all the girls and Nurse Mark sitting around like knights at a round table. Except these were the kind of knights who would rip out your hair and steal your shoes.
I sat down at the table directly across from Taz in hopes that we could mouth conversations to each other while the other girls talked about their issues. Like in any group session, one girl started to speak about her problems, and then we rotated around the table clockwise. While the other girls were talking, Taz and I had funny, silent conversations across the table. We both laughed and had a fun time until it was Taz’s turn to speak. I didn’t know much about her, so I decided to pay very close attention to what she was saying. I was sure to make direct eye contact and flash a warm smile when her eyes spotted me. She began talking about her family and how much she missed them.
“Oh so typical,” I thought to myself in a boring sigh.
While she spoke, I continued to give her friendly smiles and looks, but this, however, was not taken lightly by her. In the middle of one of her sentences, she slowly turned her head in my direction where her eyes met mine, and I swear I saw them blaze red in fury.
“SHE’S LAUGHING AT ME!” Taz screamed in a demonic tone like something you would hear out of The Exorcist.
“Who is laughing?” asked Mark in sweet voice.
“I hear the voices and they are laughing at me! I’m going to kill you tonight!” Taz screamed in a hysterical voice while keeping her eyes locked on me the entire time.
Hi, nice to meet you Taz.
“I’m not laughing at you! Calm down.” I said to her in a relaxed, yet nervous voice.
She slowly rose out of her chair like a zombie rising from a grave. Oh Lord. She’s after my brains.
I started to panic and jumped out of my chair like I was sitting on a hot bed of coal.
“Is anyone going to do anything?!” I yelled and made sure to look directly at Nurse Mark.
He just stared blankly back at me. I knew I would be surrounded by weakness here, but from an adult? Come on Mark.
I glanced back to see Taz approaching me like a lion about to pounce on its prey. I took baby steps backwards trying to get as far away from the manic Tasmanian devil as possible.
She quickened her pace. Her hands came up to the side of her head like paws. I broke a vicious sweat. Then, she burst into a sprint towards me when, all of a sudden, a gang of nurses jumped out in front of her and blocked her attack. They restrained her and drug her away into a dark hall while she still continued to scream at me.
I shot a menacing glance back at Nurse Mark. I hope someone insane jumps you on the street one day, coward. May your arms be stronger than your spine, dirt bag.
Everyone at the table was silent. No one had expected that to happen. Taz was very likeable, what brought this on?
“Group meeting is over everyone; retire to your rooms.” Mark told the girls. Then he picked up his notebook and vanished down the long hallway.
After that huge fiasco there was nothing more I wanted than to use the restroom and fall into a coma. So I decided to head back to my lonely, white room.
May I also mention that the room I lived in had a single bathroom that was to be shared with the room next to me.
It was a long haul, but I finally made my way into my room. The first thing I noticed was that the bathroom door was shut, but the light was on. This made me extremely irritated. I also noticed that there was no noise coming from the bathroom. I pressed my ear against the door quietly to see if I could hear the presence of a person. I stood still and listened; no noise, no movement. Then, without warning, the door was pulled open and I tripped into the bathroom and tumbled onto the floor, and who was it that ran out cackling like a lunatic?
Ezra.
“Oh child!” I wouldn’t go in der if I was you.” she managed to blurt out in between bursts of laughter.
I picked myself up off the floor to discover a sight I thought was not humanly possible. I saw a supersized cup of soft serve, chocolate Ezra ice cream rising up out of the toilet. Ezra had just shat up a steaming mountain of old, rotten lunch meat. Her fecal mess was bigger than her body. The mountain of crap actually came up out past the toilet lid! She had to be at least 20 pounds lighter. I just witnessed a phenomenon and my first reaction was to vomit. I sprinted to the bathtub which, thankfully, was feces free, and threw up everywhere. Immediately after I had relieved myself, I washed out the bathtub and ran to fetch one of the nurses to clean up the massive Ezra explosion.
Nice to meet you, Ezrashitpants.